ode to charlotte

on july 7th our second born daughter turned one.  since her birth she has brought joy, joy, and more joy to our lives.  her sister adores her.  her father beams every time he looks at her.  and me, well, I just cry thinking about a way to express how I feel about her.  she is stunning.  she has captured my heart.

charlotte's favorite things include: balls, books about animals, making animal noises, sissy, dada, puffs, pancakes, being outside, mama's jewelry, being held, and any type of cookie she has ever tried.
almost every picture I take of her...she's smiling.  the only time she gets cross is when she can't drink out of eden's cup...or when something she might choke on is taken away from her. 

the other day eden asked me why charlotte was SO cute.  and I told her, because God made her that way.
I am so thankful God made her.  and that I am blessed to be her mother, help raise her, hold her, kiss her, and teach her all about her maker.
and many more...miss charlotte mae.

waiting for our third

well, we have some big news to share. 
nope. I am not with child.  but...we are expecting.
we have officially been accepted into an international adoption program.  and we're hoping and praying that in 12-18 months we'll be holding our third child.

even just typing that out is beyond words exciting.  thrilling. 

pete and I have always wanted to adopt and it seems that now is the time.  there are more orphans in the world now than at any other point in history.  143,000,000.  a lot of zeros.  way too many.  close to 6 million of those are in Ethiopia.  this is the country that our son or daughter will most likely come from.

we looked into adoption within the u.s., mexico, and other countries...but ethiopia seems to be the best fit for us at this time.  the main factors being the age of children that are available, and the country requirements for adoptive parents.

we are just in the beginning stages of this whole process, and would really appreciate your prayers.  we are learning new adoption terminology, reading books, talking to friends that have adopted, and preparing our little ones-- as much as a 3 1/2 year old and almost 1 year old can be.

so, we're waiting.  and are assured we'll be doing a lot of that over the next months.   waiting for our child that we are certain will be worth every minute of it.  I wonder all the time who we're waiting for.  I pray for them.  for their birth family.  for their country.  I am so grateful to be on this journey.

I love you day

the computer is still being funky...but I sort of figured out a way to make pictures work again.  and in celebration here are my daughters.  charlotte with nothing but a diaper, her usual uniform.  eden with messy, two-day-old braids and pajamas (she'd had on since nap time).  we were outside being a family this evening and I couldn't help but take too many pictures of them. 

I can hardly believe that in 5 short days our sweet charlotte will be one entire year old.  before she was born I wondered what it would be like to love two people as much as I loved eden.  I knew it was quite possible...because my mom for sure loves me as much as my other 4 siblings.  but I couldn't really understand it all happening. 

and now...now I get it.  my heart bursts and overflows and gushes with love for those pretties.  and it didn't take almost a year to get that way...took about however long it was for the soundwaves of charlotte's first cry to reach my ears.

eden told me that today was "I love you day".  she kissed me a million times at the dinner table.  charlotte got jealous and so I held her, too.  an all too perfect ending to eggplant parmesan with feta a la crockpot for suppertime.

this morning my mind is full of things I am thankful for.  so I think I should probably write them down.

1.  my husband is in mexico with a team of english kids building a home for someone.  yep, my bff nat's ministry named canvas came all the way from birmingham, england to juarez, mexico.  God be with them as they learn what being hot is all about.

2.  I made eden a pancake for breakfast with blueberries for eyes, a chocolate chip for the nose, and sliced strawberries for juicy lips.

3. eden is now obsessed with the wizard of oz soundtrack, so we are finally getting a break from the little mermaid one.  she has her own cd player in her room that she blasts music from...not sure where she gets that from :).   you should here her belt "if I were the king of the forrest!".  she also loves elvis because of her buddy, jax.  "see see rider" is her fave.

4. waking up to pick smiling charlotte up from her crib is simply the best.  this morning she kept dropping her blanket and saying "uh-oh!".  we repeated this game for a good long while.

5. coffee.  and honey vanilla creamer.

6.  my church.

7. the fact that today I don't have any plans except playing with my daughters.

8. the way my ecover dish soap smells.

9.  the fact that Jesus really loves me.  even when all I ever do is pick apart how I could be SO much better at everything.

10. our home grown tomatoes!

there's certainly more...but these are the ones coming to mind at this moment.
one thing that I am not thankful for is the fact that iphoto...the way I put pictures on everything from our mac...keeps shutting down every 5 seconds and I can't figure out how to fix it!  blast!  this is why there are no adorable, preshy pics of my girls on this post.

the end.

a dream is a wish

so, I have this friend named natalie.  most times I call her my best friend.  my bff.
I could never tell you how much I love her.  It would seem silly to even try.  I love her with my guts.
we've been together since L.A. looks hair gel and high school.  sometimes when I'd spend the night at her house on sandy creek road I'd wake up to the smell of her strawberry shortcake baking in the oven.
we used to name our babies.  we used to hope at least some of our children would have a different skin color than our own.
we've been through a lot together in our relatively short lives. death. divorce. grief. love. birth. good haircuts and bad.
we used to dream of being missionaries and living far from home...so other people could see Jesus and know him better. or know him at all, really.
but, I don't think either of us understood what living far away from each other would look like.  of course it is worth the sacrifice. but, sometimes it is just sad.  
at this point in our lives I am a missionary that lives on the border of Tejas and Mexico.  She is a missionary that lives in birmingham, england.  It is really miraculous to see God's faithfulness and where he has taken us.  so, whenever we do get to spend time together we soak up each moment. take 1.5 zillion pictures. and kiss each other's babies too many times.
the last week of may the dockerys had the great great honor of visiting the bradens in england.  it was a dream to see natalie, her husband robert, and their baby benjamin at home. it was a dream to attend canvas, their ministry to university students.  the whole trip...incredibly dreamy.
I think my top favorite moments of our england days are : taking benjamin and eden to the park by myself (charlotte was napping), sneaking by the free samples of brie cheese twice at the grocery store with nat, and waking up with benjamin the morning he turned one.

here's to a friendship and a love that bears all things, believes all things, and hopes and endures all things.
and here's to putting our kids in the tub together because we can.

I loved today

I try to love every day.  but, I especially loved today.  I woke up to a hello kitty mother's day card decorated with a million stickers as well as a homemade one...you know, the construction paper kind.  I also got a new bible because that is what eden told pete she wanted to get me for mother's day.   she just thought of it in her 3 year old mind.  I'm really excited to have the message translation now. 
yesterday eden kept whispering happy mother's day in my ear and then asking if it was mother's day yet.  she had those cards hidden under her bed, and I've never seen her so excited.  this was the first mother's day that she actually understood what was going on.  she was so proud to give me things and shower me with hugs and kisses. even with stinky morning mom breath.
It was also my first mother's day with charlotte mae outside the uterus.  she has a cold and was a runny nosed and eyed baby, but was still as sweet as ever. 
it will never be anything but miraculous when I look at my girls and try to comprehend that they are mine.  well, of course God's.  but...came from me. with help from their dad.
I love eden's curly blond hair. her striking blue eyes.  how she remembers everything. how she gets in trouble for trying to pick up charlotte 20,000 times a day.  her voice. her hugs.
I love charlotte's nose. her rolls. her breath.  her smile.  and how lately she won't go anywhere without this plastic green ball.  sleeps with it, bathes with it, takes it to target.  I love how her eyes light up when her sister or dad come in the room.
I loved today.

first pool turd of the season

since it's been in the 90's this week I decided that today needed to be the first backyard blow-up pool day of the year.  I was pretty excited because a month or so ago I bought eden and charlotte matching swimsuits.  I can't help it...I am a sucker for matching those cats.  so, I got them dressed.  eden brought about 400 barbies and floaty things outside that needed to swim with her.  we moved the slide so that they could slither right into the water.  filled up the pool with cold hose water and let them in.
eden was splashing around like an old pro, and charlotte acted like she'd been doing it for years as well.

all was dandy until charlotte got that look that all moms know well.  she was squeezing a big one out.  and since I wasn't prepared (and I want to buy a reusable swim diaper) she wasn't wearing anything but her suit.

so. the matching swimsuits were no more.  we stripped her naked, hosed off her dimpled booty, and put on an old suit of eden's that I'd just resurrected from the attic.  the turd fell onto the grass in the changing process and pete almost threw up at the sight of it.  he is so weird.  he'll shovel dog poo all day long, but his own kid's poop makes him gag.  I love him, but that just doesn't make sense.
I'm looking forward to swimming in the backyard all summer long.  even if that means cleaning up a little poop now and then.  it happens.

a mother's prayer

been thinking a lot about mothers and mother's day.  about people who have lost their mother.  mothers who have lost their children. and people who desperately want to be mothers.  about my daughters.
and then today I remembered a song that my sweet friend juli put on a cd that she made when eden was born.  it's called a mother's prayer and is sung by celine dion...to the tune of the more popular song 'the prayer'.  and of course, in true mother fashion, I cry and cry most times I listen to it.
I am incredibly grateful to be a mother. to have incredible examples of mothers in my life...one being my very own.

I pray she finds your light

 and holds it in her heart

as darkness falls each night, remind her where you are

every mother's prayer, every child knows,

need to find a place... guide her with your grace, give her faith so she'll be safe

today

   

today was mostly just like any other day.  I spent it with these 3 loves of my soul. 

and I promise that charlotte really does sometimes wear clothing.  it's just that she is so cute without them...and that way I don't have to use the spray 'n wash on the green bean stains every 5 seconds.

puddles

eden's new favorite thing is for us to make puddles for her to play in on our back porch. lately, charlotte has been getting in on the action, too.  after a few minutes go by they usually are both down to a bare minimum of clothing.  sometimes the princesses and light up toys just don't hold a candle to dirt and water and playing outside. these two girls come by that honestly...a love for the outdoors comes from both sides of the gene pool.

clothbottom!

one more post about cloth diapering, and I might stop.  but, no promises.

my cousin/friend amy has opened up her very own cool cloth diapering business!  I think you should all go check out...it's called clothbottom!
Her website has tons of information and sells some way cute cloth diapers and accessories.  I can't tell you how easy the switch to cloth diapering has been for the dockery fam.  I just LOVE them, and have even become a bit obsessed.  I covet every new design with a tree or stripe on it.  but my main selling point will always be how much money you save compared to disposables, and how they are better for a sweet baby bottom.  oh and duh, for mother earth.
I always thought you had to be this extreme granola mom to go cloth.  like, shear the sheep for the wool, dye it, dress like a pilgrim type.  but-- I have found that you just have to be willing to do a load more of laundry every other day.  come on now, easy!  I am just a regular gal that loves target and modern technology and I have loved making this a part of our life with babies.
I am also a stay-at-home mom, which makes using cloth diapers all the time pretty easy.  Some of my bloggy friends are working mamas...and I know a lot of daycares won't do cloth.  but, even using cloth at home and on the weekends would save money and waste...just throwing that out there.

so, there's my pitch for cousin amy and clothbottom.  oh, and the fact that she is giving 10% of all profit to help fight child poverty.  come on people...buy some diapers...help the kids...save money...go green...love cloth diapering. 

and if you seriously are considering this I'd be happy to talk about what brands I've tried and liked.

hooray for cloth diapers!!