texas petes

we need some miracles

2012-01-19T20:33:00.000-08:00

hi everybody.
please forgive my lack of blogness. maybe I'll start writing again and won't have to start every blog with an apology?

I'm writing tonight to give you all an update and beg for your prayers.
we are STILL waiting on paperwork for our darling, darling boy.
this time we are waiting because he is from an area of ethiopia that is having some major troubles right now. this area has started requiring new paperwork for adoptions to pass court. and to our knowledge the authorities in this area have not given this new requirement to any family at any agency.

so would you please pray for our son? and all of the families needing this paperwork re-do/release? it is the only way we are going to be able to get a court date and bring these children home. would you pray for goodness and justice?

it seems like every day I hear something negative. hear another adoptive parent ask all of the what-if's and why's. and honestly some days it is me questioning.

but every day I am choosing to trust. to let God fight this battle. to let Him walk us through this journey that has taken so many different twists and turns. He has already written this story...and I just have to keep following.

we need miracles. just a few more! we are praying for them. and we'd be so grateful if you would, too.

thank you!!

I can't leave you without cute pictures of the girlies, though.

they are wonderful, and fun, and beautiful, and so sweet, and fill our days with joy to the max.

still here!

2011-11-18T13:28:00.000-08:00

for all of you faithful blog readers...we are still alive! and still waiting.
I really didn't intend to not post anything for such a long time...it just kind of happened.
sometimes it is just hard for me to write during the unknowns and these long waiting periods.
we've been on an emotional roller coaster these last few weeks. some of the story is going to have to wait to be written until sweet Ezra is home. but, oh man, is it a STORY. with multiple miracles involved.

we have learned a lot of new information recently. a big, HUGE, new piece of the ezra puzzle...is that he is not almost 5 months old, he is almost 1 YEAR old! we were involved in a paperwork mix up and learned that our beautiful boy will turn one in just a few days! wow. because of this newly found paperwork issue we are still waiting to be submitted to court. again.
we were submitted, and then given a court date. but soon after...the mix up was discovered and we were back to square one.
it has been incredibly hard waiting for all of this to get sorted out. but we have seen God move in miraculous ways and we fully trust that he will bring us together with ezra soon.
please join us in praying that our paperwork will be finalized soon, and we are submitted to court, and received another court date quickly. we KNOW that God can move mountains. we've seen it first hand.

our family is doing great. eden and charlotte pray for their brother multiple times a day, and just want him to be home. eden is still loving preschool. she goes to a little Christian school and if you ask her what her favorite part of school is...she'll always reply: worship. she is our little song bird, and loves to sing about Jesus.

charlotte is as crazy as ever. she is obsessed with playing pretend. we just got down all of our Christmas decorations and we have been playing with our little people manger scene all day long. she refuses to believe that Joseph is Jesus's dad. she likes the wise man with the crown. according to her, he is the daddy. she also calls the angel a butterfly. the angel/butterfly kept bringing Jesus raisins and pizza today. I sometimes have to bite my lip with all the stuff she comes up with.

we are looking forward to my parents coming out to visit us for a few days before thanksgiving. and also to going to GA for Christmas in a few weeks. Pete has several teams scheduled to build with over the holidays. the nights are quite chilly here and we are so thankful for teams willing to come and provide homes for the needy in juarez.

thank you for your love and prayers! I think I am back, blog world.

and he shall be called...

2011-09-27T08:02:00.000-07:00

after much thought and baby name deliberation...we have decided on a first name for our beautiful boy. we will be keeping his perfect ethiopian name as his middle name. and we'll probably call him that name, too. it starts with a T...and I'll get to reveal it along with his picture when we have him home.

and now for the big reveal. he shall be called...
EZRA!

we love old testament names, and think that ezra fits our little guy nicely.
eden loves it. she wrote his name all over a picture yesterday. she especially loves that it starts with an "E", like her name. and her favorite animal...an elephant.
charlotte still prefers to call him "baby brother" or "baby epeeopia (ethiopia)". she says ezra sort of like "ez-uh-wuh".

they are waiting for you, little brother!
we love you.
more and more every day.
sweet ezra.

third time's a charm

2011-09-23T13:45:00.000-07:00

there are a whole lotta fun things about having little girls. as I am sure there are about having little boys.
one fun little girl detail is when they are asked to be a flower girl in a wedding. because they get to dress up so sweetly and parade down an aisle and drop petals from a basket. and the crowd usually giggles and ooohs and ahhhs over how cute they are, because well, they are.

eden started her flower girl career in our friends jason and janette's wedding. she was two years old.

I am not sure where that baby girl went. how can she be so close to 5??!!
her second flower girl title was earned at my dear cousin erin's wedding when she married handsome bryan.

eden's partner in crime ring bearer was her cousin Jackson, and this wedding was even featured in bride's atlanta magazine! and just fyi...if you need a fabulous photographer and live in GA...you should totally hire erin and bryan at tin can photography!
our third flower girl experience was this past weekend when joanna married harrison. joanna is my BFF natalie's younger sister. and I've watched her grow into a beautiful, beautiful woman.
and this time little sister charlotte joined in as a co-flowery girl. they both did great and giggled the whole way down the aisle.

one special thing about this wedding is that it was held in the same pasture where pete and I got married. my parent's land...that used to house our cows and horses. here are the girls walking through the same clearing that I did as a bride on my daddy's arm, looking at their daddy. pretty magical.

looking forward to more flower girl years with these precious gifts. and soon we'll have a ring bearer!

so now what?

2011-09-21T13:23:00.000-07:00

yesterday we received word that all of our official paperwork for baby boy was at our adoption agency, and that they were informing the ethiopian staff of our formal acceptance! so now comes the SUPER hard waiting...the wait for our first trip to ethiopia when we meet our son and have our court date.

for those of you who are wondering...we will travel to ethiopia twice. the first trip we will be able to kiss baby boy and play with him, and then hopefully have our case approved by the federal courts.

the current estimated wait time from acceptance of a referral to court date is 4 to 5 months. let's please all pray for 4!

when we are done with court we will have to leave sweet baby and ethiopia, and wait to be given embassy clearance and a date for a visa appointment. we will have our visa appointment on our second trip to ethiopia. there is usually 2 or 3 months in between these first and second trips. and I expect this wait between trips to be the hardest of all.

once we have our little guy's visa in hand we are allowed to take him home to his sisters. and love him forever and ever and ever, amen.

so that is a brief summary of what the adoption process *should* look like from this point forward. we are looking at another 6 to 9 months of waiting before he is home with our family.

we can't stop looking at his pictures. and they are already up all over our house. I SO wish that I could post them here for you all to see, but I have to wait until he is home with us.

last night I noticed something new about him that I hadn't before. how precious his hands are. he has these sweet, long fingers. and I love how the inside of his hand is a lighter color brown than the other parts of his skin.

he already melts me.

we are still trying to figure out what we will call this little guy. his ethiopian name is gorgeous and tremendously meaningful. but also pretty difficult to pronounce. so I'll keep you posted when we decide on something. eden would like to name him "frou frou" and charlotte picked "joe". I'm not sure either of those will make the final cut.

I'll leave you with some funnies of the girls the other night when we took them to jungle jaks. they got their make-up done and it was something to behold. please don't call toddlers and tiaras on me.

girlfriends were SPARKLY!!!

thank you so much for your congratulations and sharing in our JOY. I am still trying to believe that he is even real :)

oh HAPPY day!

2011-09-15T21:44:00.000-07:00

today started out wonderfully.
I woke up at my parent's house. we are in town for a wedding.
I played with my nieces and nephews.
I started a photo shoot with baby John.
and then the day got even more wonderful than I could ever tell you.
because I got a phone call from holt international. and they told me that they had a baby boy they thought would be a great match for our family.
and I didn't drop the phone...but I did start crying.
and then I called pete and we opened an email together (on our phones) that will change our lives forever.
he is magnificent.
he is beautiful.
he is our son.
and I wanted to reach right through the computer and scoop him into my arms and never let him go.
he is 2 1/2 months old. he has beautiful big brown eyes. precious pouty lips. and I am head over heels in love with him.

I wish I could post pictures of him...but I can't until he is home with us. but trust me...he's a dream.
here are some shots of us looking at him for the first time...and of pete telling his mom on the phone.

as you can tell...he is already beloved by all!
thank you, dear friends and family, for praying for this little guy.
we are floating on a cloud. we are so grateful to God for this gift that He has given us.

4 new faves...make that 5

2011-09-12T22:11:00.000-07:00

y'all know I love a good crock pot recipe. or slow cooker. I think they are samers.

so, I wanted to share two new fave recipes from real simple magazine. one is called creamy chicken and biscuits. yep. tastes as good as it sounds. I followed all of these directions, but I made my mama's homemade biscuits instead of their easy drop variety (which I am sure are delish). I don't have a recipe for mom's biscuits...the ingredients include self-rising flour, butter flavored crisco, and buttermilk. and you mix them up until it "looks right" as she says.
really hope one of you makes that recipe...so yum...and should make anyone happy.

the second new fave recipe is asian pork with snow peas, red pappers, and soba noodles. I made this one tonight for deener (that's the way my sister sarah and I say it) and we all loved it. except, charlotte made me eat her snow peas because they were "too spicy", which makes no sense, but she is so cute I just ate them for her. eden crunched those peas up. I didn't have soba noodles so I used whole wheat angel hair pasta. this junk smelled so good cooking that I could hardly stand it all day long.
the only thing I did differently than the recipe advised was that I put the red peppers in the crock pot when the meat had about 45 minutes left to cook. just because I don't love a crunchy red pepper.

so there are 2 of the 4 faves.

the second two are songs. my beautiful friend jenni played this song I'd never heard during communion time at church yesterday. I couldn't stop crying. which was bad. because I had to sing the next song with the worship band and start it off all by my lonesome. I was able to compose myself...but it sure wasn't easy.

LOVE her voice!! love those words.
once I found out who the artist was I listened to a millionty jj heller songs on youtube today. I think I've listened to this one called "kingdom come" 47 times today.

well, at least 12 times.

and lastly. a new favorite picture of eden. it just captures this side of her personality so well. she is an artist in many ways. singer, songwriter, actress, painter, crafter.

happy cooking, song listening, singing, and picture taking to you.

winners!!

2011-09-02T12:09:00.000-07:00

thank you all for your sweet comments and encouragement!
each of the girls picked a name out of a blue bowl a few minutes ago...

eden picked...

tiffany from the del angel family!

and charlotte picked....

the stemple family!

you two winners email me and send me your address, please! oh and what size shirt you would like. I only have adult sizes left. {abbydockery@hotmail.com}

thank you again...this was fun :)

and we have more t-shirts left...if you didn't win and would like to buy one.

love you guys!

10 months of waiting

2011-08-30T20:37:00.000-07:00

when we started this journey we were not expecting a 10 month wait to receive our referral. we were officially put on the waiting list on october 25, 2010, and we thought it would maybe take 6 months.

but here we are...over 10 months later...still waiting to see that precious face that God is going to bring into our family. some days I am pretty good at waiting. but there are other days when it is just hard. it's hard not to wonder when...and who...and why not now?!

so. to make the 10 month marker of our waiting journey into something fun...I thought I'd give away one of our shirts. yes...we still have some! you can see pictures of them at the top right of the blog.

I don't even know if anyone out there in blog land would like one...but if you do...just leave me a comment. I'll draw 2 winners on friday.

giveaway! oh yessss!

gross but fun

2011-08-25T13:39:00.000-07:00

most of the time I try to feed the girls healthy foods. most of the time I try to eat that way, as well. but sometimes we eat chocolate. ok, we eat it a lot. and sometimes I like to make fun things that I know the kids will go nuts for. even if they aren't that healthy...and sound kind of icky to me.
last night I joined pinterest. heaven help me with all the cool neatos I've already found in one hours worth of pinning and pin gazing.
I found this funny idea on one my friend keight's pinterest boards. I don't even know what you'd call this. some sort of turkey dog/spaghetti wonder.
we almost always have turkey dogs in the refrigerator because charlotte is a hot dog fanatic. any time you ask her what she'd like to eat...she answers a hot dog. even for breakfast. fyi: she doesn't eat them every day for every meal.
we also had spaghetti in stock...so I made this today for kid lunch. mama had a salad. but I would have rather had five guys burgers and fries.

start with this

then put them together...throw them in boiling water

have a fruit and cheddar cheese (previously devoured) appetizer

and wow your children with this funny creation!

she CANNOT believe it!

thanks mom, you are the BEST...even if this smells disgusting to you.

we also tried a new to us fun beverage item today. chocolate straws! I found them at babies r us.

needless to say, the dockery children approved of today's lunch. it was so fun to see their little eyes light up over such funny things.
speaking of dockery children. I couldn't help it. I bought a new crib sheet today that isn't girly. I love it!!

come on baby...now you have a sheet without flowers.

our songbird

2011-08-22T13:08:00.000-07:00

just to give more glimpses into our silly world...I present you with live footage. the first is eden singing a kari jobe song called "no sweeter name". it has a surprise bang up ending by charlotte.

the second is an original piece by miss eden. she comes from a long line of musical theater dorks...and her favorite movies include: annie, the wizard of oz, and any disney movie that involves singing. she can memorize a soundtrack in one day flat. she sang before she talked.
I especially love her dramatic arm movements.
and how much she loves herself.

happy monday!

I never thought

2011-08-19T13:06:00.000-07:00

her hair would get this long

she'd look so big to me

her eyes would stay so blue

that she wouldn't need my help to climb this tree

I also never thought she'd tell me she didn't want her name to be eden anymore.

instead she prefers petunia.

thankful for all these things I never thought.

thankful for this singing, drawing, sunshine girl.

muddy waters

2011-08-18T14:02:00.000-07:00

to begin this muddy post I'll share a photo of the dirt dessert we made 2 nights ago.

I remember the first time I ever ate this delicious mix of pudding, oreos, and gummy worms. it was at VBS and I was probably 8. and I couldn't believe how great/exciting it was. I still feel the same way.
onto more mud.
yesterday we had some rain, loud thunder, and a bit of hail here in the desert.
and after it was over and the hot sun was starting to emerge the girls wanted to go jump in muddy puddles.
why not?

after that...charlotte decided to pee in the grass. her favorite thing. right through her panties. so, of course I took a picture.

whatta gal.
we're loving this fun, muddy week.
adoption honesty:
mama is having a hard time waiting for baby brother. but I'm just learning to trust and hope, trust and hope, and repeat. next week will mark 10 months on the wait list for us. it's been a twisty turny ride. in the beginning we expected a 6 month wait for a referral (or match with a child). we have been told to expect a 9-12 month wait at this point. but, we'll see. we know that we are at the top of the list, so that is encouraging.
praying for those waiting. those trying to get their kiddos home. and for ethiopian adoption. we are so hopeful...and very ready! oh boy, is this boy loved.

off to finish a thrilling game of strawberry shortcake memory cards.

same mess. different girl.

2011-08-11T13:09:00.000-07:00

eden. blue eyes. snow white skin. almost 2 years old. chocolate ice cream face. sitting on the front porch bench.

charlotte. green eyes. brown as a berry. already 2 years old. chocolate ice cream face. sitting on the front porch bench.

they are so beautiful to me it hurts.

where did the time go?

2011-08-10T21:39:00.000-07:00

well...I didn't mean to take such a long bloggy break. let's see if we can catch up.
we went to the beach!

and then, we spent time in Georgia with family and friends.

helped throw a baby shower for my bestie, nat!

ate ethiopian food and prayed and prayed that God would send us our little one.

and came home....just in time...for eden to start PRESCHOOL!!!
she was a little emotional. I was a LOT emotional. but she loves it and we are SO proud of her.

so, there you have it...3 weeks in a nut shell.
so thankful for our life!
as you can see we are still waiting for our referral. 9 1/2 months of official waiting. we really don't have any idea how much longer we'll wait. we are trusting God. and we are so thankful for all of your prayers and kind words...it means the world! tonight at dinner eden prayed that God would be with her baby brother, and that he would come home to us soon so that we can stop missing him so much. I had to keep my head down for a few extra seconds to dry the tears :) I pray the same things, sweet girl.

peace out, twenty-eight

2011-07-19T13:15:00.001-07:00

that's right. tomorrow I turn 29. and I am so thankful for that. I really don't get why some people have a problem with aging.
my perspective on every single thing in life changed at the age of 20 when doug died. I think I became an old lady at a pretty young age. I don't look at anything the same way.
I am more thankful for everything. I actually couldn't finish reading "the color kittens" to the girls today at nap time because I was so choked up. because as I was reading I was overwhelmed by the fact that God gave them to me to read to. I'm serious. crying over story time. told you...old lady.
last night I had a hard time falling asleep because I was missing Doug and was having a hard time reliving some difficult memories. it just happens...mostly when I least expect it. I got mad that I was about to be 29 and he only made it to 22 days shy of 24.
this morning I woke up with a renewed soul. and I am not thinking about those hurty memories. I am thinking of good ones. and making new ones with my daughters.
including: making ants a playground and swimming pool with side walk chalk...

and popsicles after a HOT morning walk.

I am feeling fine at almost twenty-nine. and the fact that I write that for all to read is really miraculous.
because I used to think that admitting that I was thankful for life and feeling fine, meant that I was somehow erasing the deep pain that I still feel and covering up parts of life and people that aren't here anymore. but it doesn't.
It means thank God for another year of life and breath and grace and miracles. thank God for the past, and the now, and the unknown to come.

I have two birthday wishes: new sunglasses. and a referral. please??
let the july birthdays continue! (we have 9 in our family!)

go! to guatemala.

2011-07-14T10:41:00.000-07:00

yes...that's our daddy throughout and at the end! we can't wait to go!

7.7

2011-07-07T22:00:00.000-07:00

happy birthday to you...my pretty baby.

you are delightful. hilarious. sweetness. with a touch of your mama's stubborn side.

you love babies. you think you are 4. you are a goof ball. and before you went to bed tonight you sang "happy duhtday to my bottom" and laughed and laughed with your big sissy. bottoms and booties are so, so unbelievably funny to you (and her).

we could never, ever, ever thank God enough times for sending you to us.

you are joy.
tonight I curled up in the bottom bunk with you and rubbed your face until you drifted off to sleepy town. and I just stared at you sleeping and cried. because I love you so awfully much.

welcome to being two.

clover jewelry

2011-06-29T19:29:00.000-07:00

there are just some things that must be passed down to the next generation of little girls (and boys). clover jewelry making being one them.
there is something really magical about watching my daughters faces light up with joy when I place a necklace made of flowers over their heads. and then adding a bracelet, ring, and hair wreath...they could hardly contain their excitement.
I love the way clovers smell. I love how tying them to one another takes me right back to childhood and bare feet and always being outside in the humid georgia summers. helping my parents plant the garden and running around with my sisters and brother.
I love that I'm raising children that hardly ever stay inside.

even sweet little cousin violet became a flower child.

sometimes I want to throw all of their plastic toys away. because nothing is more delightful and entertaining than God's great earth.

babies, blueberries, and birthdays

2011-06-27T19:53:00.000-07:00

boy, have we had some crazy, wonderful days recently!
within 5 days we had 2 precious baby boys enter our lives. our friends and fellow casas por cristo missionaries, jason and amy, welcomed their little guy, kash, into the world in el paso. check out his cuteness! his mama, daddy, and brother all have red hair, too :).

THEN, my beautiful sister sarah gave birth to the 11th grandchild on my side of the family...sweet john landon. the girls and I flew into georgia and got to see her hold him after she hadn't been able to for hours...because he had some lung issues right after birth, and stayed in the transition nursery. I cried pretty much the whole day. happy tears.

and I haven't been able to stop getting teary pretty much since then. I love my families, I love my homes, I am so thankful.
we also got to be home for my niece kyrie's birthday party, and pete's mom's birthday is today! for people that live a long way from home...this is all SO special. never take going to family get togethers for granted...please! seeing my children surrounded by cousins and grandparents AND great-grandparents melts me into a puddle.

this evening charlotte really got into blueberry picking and eating. it was so dreamy to watch her. and she happened to be wearing blue for the occasion.

doesn't get much yummier than that.
sigh.

father's day fire alarms

2011-06-21T07:49:00.000-07:00

this father's day my dear husband woke up to the sweet sound of...our smoke alarm going off.
woops.
I got up earlier than everyone to quietly get monkey bread in the oven. pete's mom always makes this delicious treat...and I was trying to make something he loves for breakfast. but I think I overloaded the pan a bit and after 20 minutes or so of cook time butter started squirting all over the oven and burning and smoking...and stinking. and then came the high pitched noise of our fire warning system and his dreams of sleeping a little bit longer on father's day were long gone.
woops.
charlotte slept through the 3 different smoke alarm soundings...but eden was awake with the first. she gave him her cards and drawings that she had picked out especially for him. the only t.v. show that eden watches is tom and jerry. I'm not kidding. she watches 20 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes at bed time. it's hilarious. God bless boomerang. so when she found a tom and jerry father's day card she just about flipped her lid...because she loves watching it with pete. he was pretty excited about it, too.
charlotte was still asleep at this point...but she decorated him a card at chick-fil-a family night and was quite proud to present it to him at church.

these two little girls adore their daddy.

we had a lovely day of smoke, food, church and togetherness. it all ended with a dip in our friend's pool...which was nice and refreshing in our 100 degree temperatures.

one of charlotte's baby dolls made it for the pool trip.
I am so thankful for pete, and for my own father and grandfather. I have been surrounded by Godly examples of fatherhood my entire life and I could not be more grateful. I really missed seeing my Dad on father's day, but we had a nice phone call chat and I will be seeing him very soon!

this is a picture of my daddy and his fourth little girl...me.
hope you all had a fun father's day weekend...that didn't involve smoking monkey bread!

things I said today...

2011-06-15T19:09:00.000-07:00

to miss charlotte mae:
"charlotte...why did you bring your potty outside?"

(p.s. don't you love her choice of outfit: pajama bottoms with shorts and no shirt)

as well as..."charlie...don't put that cheezit in your bottom!" {as she was walking around naked getting ready for a bath with a cheezit box in tow}

and a lot of...don't put that paint brush, those rocks, that money, etc. in your mouth. she might think she is 6 months old again.
she cracks me up. all day long.

saturday s'mores

2011-06-13T14:02:00.000-07:00

last week I had an overwhelming desire to make and eat s'mores . and then I started thinking about hot dogs...and grilled corn on the cob. and well, I gave into my cravings and we made all of those delicious foods on saturday evening. really healthy, I know :).
we spent most of the day outside. charlotte sunbathed...and tried to swing by herself. and eden played with her rio toys.

I put a table cloth on our porch table and eden added a plastic flower arrangement to make our feast a little bit fancy. the girls ate in their bathing suits and we listened to the wizard of oz soundtrack (eden's pick) as we dined on this fine cuisine.

when it came time for the girls to eat their oozing s'mores they hardly knew what to do with themselves. neither of them could believe it was ok with mom to get chocolate all over their clothes, in their hair, and covering their hands. but after some reassurance they devoured them. and so did I.

and boy was it a fun, yummy night.

tatted fairies

2011-06-10T16:46:00.000-07:00

this afternoon the girls endured the pain of temporary tattooing. since I was the tattoo artist I gave their parents a shout out.

then these tatted beauties transformed into fairies. at the moment the picture below was taken eden had just informed charlotte that if she closed her eyes she could make all her dreams come true. yes!

they are so great.
we didn't hear any adoption news this week. but I did have a new thought to help me through this wait.
a few days ago charlotte was upset because I was showering and she couldn't see me. she kept telling me that she needed to SEE me. and I just became overwhelmed with ooey gooey love for her.
and I thought to myself that if someone told me I could be her mother and eden's mother...but I had to wait an unknown period of time before this title came into effect...that I would wait forever. I would wait and wait and wait to have the chance of loving them with a mother's heart.
I already love this babe I don't know so very much. and I'll wait as long as it takes until I get to be his mother. I'll wait through slow downs and all the new twists and turns of this journey.
I'll wait for him. with great joy.

like mother, like daughters

2011-06-07T13:26:00.000-07:00

one of my favorite childhood memories is eating watermelon at my grandparents house with all of my cousins. we'd swim for hours...only stopping for chlorine flavored cheezits...and everyone's favorite...watermelon. an ice cold one that pawpaw would bring up from the basement, slice, and serve on his finest... old newspapers. we'd eat it quickly with our teeth chattering from our drippy, cold bathing suits and hair, and then jump right back in. and wait for dinner time and ice cream.
yesterday the girls and I enjoyed sliced watermelon in somewhat of the same fashion. and we called my pawpaw and memaw so I could at least hear their voices while we ate it. they are both very young 80 and almost 83 year olds that just celebrated their 63rd wedding anniversary. and two of my most favorite people in all of humanity.
pretty sure both girls enjoyed every juicy bite.

when we came back outside from eating dinner...we found that java was enjoying some slices she'd stolen off our porch table.

we finished the evening with fudge pops. (charlotte had to change suits because of a little accident that I won't blog about. ick.)

happy summer. happy memories.
you want a watermelon now, don't you?

I just don't fit in

2011-06-06T13:34:00.000-07:00

sometimes when I'm at a baby shower...or an event where those surrounding me are mostly female...I start to get that feeling. the feeling that I'm just different. because a lot of times when women get together they start talking about their children. and babies. and families. and how many do you want? and they say things like "Oh we're DONE!" and then receive head nods in agreement from the others in the group.
and I just kind of sit there. because I don't feel overwhelmed when I think about having *gasp* more than 2 or 3 children (I actually feel giddy about that thought). and I can promise you that you will never hear me utter the words "I'm DONE!"...as if having and raising children is something I can't wait to be finished with. quite the contrary. I'm sure there will come a time when Pete and I (along with God) make a decision on how many children will be a part of our family. but it won't be based on how exhausting children are, or how much I love/hate being pregnant, or how expensive children are/adoption is...or other reasons I've heard people groan about.
I grew up as the 4th child in a family with 5 children. and a lot of people thought that was a lot of kids. I thought it was normal. I was just as doted on as the first. and still am. I grew up with a mother that cherished me and rocked me until I was way too big to be held. parents that loved family and children. we weren't involved in 8 billion activities growing up and life didn't revolve around us. it revolved around family. and our faith.
I'm definitely not writing this because I think people that have 0, 1, or 2 children are horrible. I think that's beautiful. I just get tired of hearing mothers act like raising any number of little blessings that God gave them infringes on their time. and that wanting more than 2 or 3 is so crazy and unimaginable.
because I am very thankful for every minute of time I spend making meals. making beds. folding little clothes. wiping hands. wiping bottoms. teaching. singing. and laughing with.
I'm not perfect. and I do get tired of saying "be nice to your sister" and "say you're sorry", etc.
but I can't imagine saying I'm done (in an overwhelmed tone) with these...

because they are joy to the max. really.
and I promise I'll still say that when they are pimple faced and have body odor and don't like me.
I like being different. and not fitting in.

four for a day

2011-06-01T21:45:00.000-07:00

today I had the pleasure of adding 2 girls to my already feminine household. our friends from church are out of town so we were helping them out by playing with their cutie pies for the day. I had two 4 year olds and two 1 year olds. and yes, charlotte is approaching two...but she is NOT two yet. I'm holding on tightly to these last few weeks of her oneness.
we played dress-up and spent most of our day outside in pixie hollow...and splashing in our kiddie pool.

fiona, eden, charlotte, & elsa

so thankful for our "family" here in el paso.
AND in adoption news. obviously...we didn't get a referral in may. and that made us really sad. but we are hopeful that we will see a face and get a call this month. there were some referrals last week...so please join us in praying that they continue. selfishly...I just want to know who we are waiting for! come on baby!

pixie hollow

2011-05-25T20:56:00.000-07:00

our little girls have the wonderful advantage of having a daddy and papa (pete's dad) that can build pretty much anything you ~~beg~~ ask them to. a few weeks ago I knew that mimi and papa were coming to town...and the idea of a little playhouse for the girls came into my brain. somewhere they could go and make leaf soup and live in a make believe world.
so. I asked. and boy did they deliver. better than I could have dreamed.
eden decided to name the playhouse "pixie hollow"...you know, like where tinker bell lives? I thought it was a pretty cute idea.
and so I present to you...pixie hollow. built by daddy and papa with love. we have basically lived inside of pixie hollow since it had a floor. we had a picnic lunch in there this afternoon. I think I love it as much as the girls.

eden wrote the words for the sign and then papa routed it...so cute!

and...we had a ceremonial official opening of pixie hollow where eden cut the ribbon.

their first cooking experience inside the hollow...

thank you daddy and papa!

a tale of two houses

2011-05-20T13:23:00.000-07:00

this week my home church family, my parents, and my family of 4 helped build two homes in juarez, mexico. in case you are new...my husband and I are missionaries that serve with a ministry called casas por cristo, and we build homes in juarez and acuna, mexico, and guatemala (starting this summer!).

we love love juarez with all of our hearts and are committed to showing it's people Christ's love through the simple act of taking care of a physical need...shelter. many of the families there live in houses constructed out of cardboard and pallets...with a dirt floor. with summer temperatures in the 100's, horrible dust storms in the spring, and freezes in the winter...their homes are anything but shelter.

now two families have shelter. have been shown how much God cares for them and loves them. have been told the story of Jesus and his saving love. and have been connected with a pastor in their area.

I pray you'll think about getting a team together to come give love. and maybe provide a home for a sweet baby like this one...her name is isabel.

what a beautiful week.

my favorite popsicles

2011-05-13T12:40:00.000-07:00

my friend emily makes the best popsicles I have ever tasted. and this morning...I had a craving for them. unfortunately emily and her family moved away from el paso back to their sweet home of alabama. so I couldn't call her and beg her to make them for me, and then drive to her house and devour them in her green kitchen.
so. my dear friend emailed me the recipe this morning and the girls and I made them before we went on our morning walk, so they'd be ready to eat as a lunch time dessert.
I think the main reason these popsicles are my favorite is because they have berries that are cooked in honey. I only know of one other person that loves honey more then me. that would be my sister, sarah. our mama used to dip her pacifier in honey (before we learned it wasn't safe)...so she is sort of an addict. honey makes almost anything taste better, in our opinion.
so here's the recipe...you NEED to make these:

blend 1 cup vanilla yogurt and 1 banana until smooth

bring 3 cups of berries - fresh or frozen - (recipe uses raspberries, i used strawberries)

and 1/2 cup honey to a boil over med-high heat, reduce to low, simmer 5 minutes.

Pour fruit mixture through strainer into bowl, cover and chill 30 minutes

Pour yogurt mixture into bottom of molds and top with fruit mixture. freeze. enjoy.

now. if you pour them into a popsicle mold they are hard to get out...and they end up looking like this:

but who cares...because the taste is all we care about...right?
emily told me they would turn out much better if I put them in a plastic or paper cup with a popsicle stick. and she was right. (yes, I save charlotte's dora yogurt cups, wash them, and trick her into thinking they are new).

so, there you have it people. delicious, easy popsicles. with honey!

thanks, em.

work it girl

2011-05-10T08:38:00.000-07:00

what happened when we asked eden to smile for the camera last night....

well...at least she isn't shy.

happy day

2011-05-08T14:09:00.000-07:00

happy and thankful and overwhelmed that God would give me these gifts...
to squeeze...

and make them giggle...

and adore...

and kiss...

and kiss some more...

and cherish, protect, pray for, rejoice over, and LOVE the best way I know how.

and oh how I pray that next year there is one more laughing in my lap...

happy mother's day to all of you mamas out there. and special prayers for those who long to be mothers and who have lost their mothers.

I miss my mama a ton today, but thankfully I was able to talk to her on the phone and tell her how much I love her. and...she is coming to see us in one week! I am so thankful for her example of mothering to me. for all of the hours she spent rocking me to sleep. for her patience. and for how much she has oozed with love for me since she knew I was growing inside of her.
here she is...snuggling her 4th born daughter...me.

and now I'm off to do more snuggling.

praying for may

2011-05-01T22:05:00.000-07:00

it's been 6 weeks since the last referral was given out from our agency.
so. I think THIS week would be a great time for them to start up again. don't you?!
I trust with all of my heart that we will be matched with our child at just the right time. but I can't help but hope that time will be soon. we are just so very ready.

and now for a picture update:
we went to see sesame street live last weekend. it was so fun watching the girls see their favorite characters in "real life". during nap time I made some special shirts for them to wear. I cut out abby cadabby from an old shirt of eden's that no longer fit. then I ironed it onto a hand-me-down t-shirt she got from her friend elle. I made the cookie monster one with some material I had that just happened to work. I ironed it onto an old tank top of eden's. they were so cute...and no one else had one like them!

and in other news...backyard pool season is upon us. oh how these girls love splashing around.

and lastly. just let me say for the bazillionth time how beautiful I think my daughters are. they are magnificent and hilarious and I am ever grateful to God for them.

here's to a new week...and hopes of a may match!

dear baby,

2011-04-25T20:37:00.000-07:00

today your mama thought about you all day long. and prayed for you. and your birth mother.
and imagined what your hands and feet and smile will look like.
your sisters colored you some pictures today. the biggest sister wishes you would come home soon. she and little, big sister LOVE babies.

we listened to some ethiopian music before we ate dinner, and danced around the kitchen. and felt just a little closer to you...even though we have no clue who you are.
you are growing in our hearts. you have taken root. and just the idea of you makes us so joyful.

I love you sweet, precious one.
just waiting until my dreams of you come true.

how to eat a cadbury creme egg

2011-04-24T21:36:00.000-07:00

by: charlotte mae

she told everyone with great joy at church this morning that she had a "chockit egg" for breakfast.
girl definitely inherited the sweet tooth (or teeth) from mama.

hope you had a beautiful easter. we spent ours with our el paso family celebrating our risen Christ. such a magnificent day.

the colors of us

2011-04-21T13:15:00.000-07:00

my bff natalie gave eden and charlotte some really wonderful books for Christmas. she is one of the best gift givers of all times. always special and meaningful and favorite.
one of the books was the colors of us by karen katz. it's about a little girl named lena whose mother is an artist. she and lena go all around town and notice the beautiful skin colors of all of their friends and neighbors. then lena goes home and paints pictures of all of her friends...mixing up all sorts of colors of paint to match their skin tones.
I think I've read this book 3 times a day for the last week.
at the end of the book lena sits in her room painting surrounded by her painter's palette and "squeezy paints" as eden calls them. this is one of eden's favorite pages.
yesterday, I told eden we could go and buy her very own painter's palette and squeezy paints at hobby lobby and she could hardly wait.
she and sister really got into pretending to be lena this afternoon.

and now our house smells like craft painted projects drying...and the curry cooking in my crock pot. mmmmm.

springness

2011-04-18T13:28:00.000-07:00

spring is not my favorite season. I just get so sneezy and itchy eyed. I'm a summer and fall kind of girl. but I can't help but love all the pastel candy and frilly easter dresses in the front of every store. oh and the tulips.
we really don't have much of a spring here in the desert. winter just sort of morphs into summer sometime in march. but it is still fun to pretend we are surrounded by daffodils instead of hot sandy wind.
we dyed easter eggs this weekend. eden picked out a toy story kit. she really got into dipping the eggs into the stinky vinegar color baths this year. charlotte just liked crushing the shells with her chubby fingers...and kept wondering why we weren't eating the eggs.

we also planted some tomatoes this weekend. and cilantro...and some kind of spicy pepper for pete.
I will eat a tomato sandwich for lunch every day for weeks some sweet time this summer. cannot even wait.

and lastly...we played dress-up with java. and that turned out to be pretty funny looking.

oh and one more thing. if you or your church or youth group are looking for a great opportunity to serve this summer...please consider coming and building a house with us! we need volunteers to build homes in juarez and acuna, mexico and we are also building homes in guatemala this summer!!
check out our website: www.casasporcristo.org it has all the info you'll need.
thanks!

nothin' yet...

2011-04-13T13:18:00.000-07:00

we're still waiting away for our referral. we know that we are close to next in line, but we just don't know when the next batch of referrals will come. could be next week...could be next month.
it seems like referrals with our agency come in waves. the last bunch was about a month ago. it isn't easy waiting, but I just have to keep reminding myself that it will all happen when it is supposed to.
I wonder who is rocking our baby...who has already seen and kissed his face.
what day I'll get to see that face myself.
sigh. it's tough...all this not knowing.
but I know the one who does know. and really...that's more than enough.
the little ladies and I have been enjoying playing outside every day. they go through several outfits most days...and I could care less. I love watching them play with the water hose and drink out of it :) and I love to kiss their faces when they smell like sunscreen.
today we played at the park up the way from our house. java seemed to like being pulled around by her new little friends.

then we made little pizzas for lunch. see charlotte's ONE curl in the back of her hair? cracks me up.
thank you so much for your prayers and support. it means the world.

meet java!

2011-04-11T18:18:00.000-07:00

here she is!
we are so happy that java is home! she is a 3 year old boxer...and is sweet as pie. we got her from the humane society because we prefer rescue dogs to fancy breeder kinds. my brother, parents, and sister all have boxers and love them...so we thought she'd be a great fit for our family.

and the greatest face of all...when her tooth gets caught in her jowls.

welcome to the family miss java. hope we have many years with you.

new leash and collar

2011-04-11T08:03:00.000-07:00

we are back home in our mountains and desert. we call this home, too.
when we fly into atlanta I tear up seeing the pine trees. and when we return and travel west... my girls see their mountains and the sandy earth below and we get just as excited.
so thankful for this home and this life.
an exciting thing happened for eden as we boarded our plane bound for el paso. the pilot invited her to sit down next to him and pretend to fly the plane! she was so adorable and thrilled!

(blurry pic because mommy was holding charlotte and a zillion other things!)

after a couple of hours of travel we got off the plane and glided down the escalator to daddy and were SO HAPPY!!

we put our luggage in the back of the car...and drove to pick out a new friend for our family. I won't give all the details away until tomorrow when I have more pictures of this furry girl. it just hasn't been the same around our house without our Jesse dog, and we can't wait to have another canine member officially added to the fam this afternoon.

also. one more thing. I don't usually care about taking pictures of nature. but this beautiful butterfly was on the tree in our front yard this weekend and I thought she was so lovely. I think it was definitely a "she".

hope you have a wonderful monday!! I know we will.
let us rejoice and be glad!

take me home

2011-04-07T13:04:00.000-07:00

well...I really didn't intend to neglect the blog, but it seems that I have for awhile. woops.

we've been visiting family for the last two weeks and that just took a back seat to anything else.

I've got a lot of catching up to do...but we'll just start with the events of today.

today my dad went to mow the pasture that I grew up playing in. it is down the hill from our old house. we had black angus cows and horses. and a tractor. and a big barn.

the big barn still stands, but the animals and tractor are no longer. the air and the grass still smell the same delicious, and with the dogwoods in bloom I could hardly keep my eyes from misting over.

I love those acres of grass and trees. I have since I was a baby.

and I just happened to marry my dream boy in that very same place almost 6 years ago.

so you can see why it is deeply special for me to bring my daughters to run around there.

and why I loved seeing the sun shine on their faces while they played with my old toys, had a picnic lunch, and road on the mower with pawpaw.

I am aching to hear news of our son...and for the day he joins us for play time in the pasture. there haven't been any referrals for awhile...hoping for some soon!

meeting violet

2011-03-27T20:27:00.000-07:00

since we live pretty far away from our family...we usually have to wait to meet new babies. which is so hard for this aunt! I like to be outside the delivery room waiting to hear the first cry...and hold them with freshly applied gooky eye ointment still glistening.
our beautiful niece, violet, was born on valentine's day this year. and the girls and I just got to meet her today! she is stunning. she was carried into mimi and papa's kitchen during lunch time today...and eden and charlotte immediately forgot about anything they were supposed to be eating. I scooped her into my arms (which were made for baby holding) and we kissed on her for hours. it was love at first sight for everyone.

after I fed violet a bottle of her mama's milk and she was full and happy I told her parents to take a snooze. aunt abby was in charge. they drifted off for a short nap and I did what all good aunts do. stripped her down and started a photo shoot!

she is so delicious.
so.
we are delighted to be spending time with this sweet baby and our family. we hope she gets used to her cousins constantly hovering around.

pretty close to crazy

2011-03-23T20:53:00.000-07:00

it's official. I am almost crazy. last week we found out that a family that turned in their dossier 2 days before ours got their referral. so there is only one day and maybe one or two families ahead of us in the line up. ahhhhh!!!
and since then my phone is never more than 3 inches from me. my heart races when it rings. I wear something african every day. I keep forcing pete to think about baby boy names and decide on one. and my mind is constantly wondering if today is THE day?!!!
I even bought him a really soft, beautiful, blue blanket yesterday. I couldn't help myself.
I try and play it off like I'm cool. I'm not anxious. it will happen when it happens. but on the inside I have lost it.
I want to see his face. know his story. start another count down.
but in the meantime...I'll be taking care of these beauties.

and we'll be praying for our sweet little guy. and his birth mother. and his care givers. and his country.

I'm ok with crazy. a little crazy never hurt.

coffee...anyone?

2011-03-20T21:21:00.000-07:00

it is with great happiness that I introduce you to our latest fundraising adventure...COFFEE!!!
our family has opened our very own fair trade coffee shop with just love coffee roasters. with every bag of coffee that you purchase we will receive $5 towards our travel fund to ethiopia.
you can visit our shop by clicking HERE. when you enter the site just look over on the left and you'll see a listing of all the different kinds you can buy. you simply purchase the coffee and this wonderful organization does all the rest!

all of the coffee is fair trade...and most of it is organic. just love coffee roasters was founded by rob webb who grew up with a father that owned a coffee company. rob and his wife adopted two daughters from ethiopia and created this company to help an ethiopian orphanage as well as families adopting from all over the world.
every morning I wake up to the sound of our coffee maker grinding up those delicious little beans. and while I am not a "real" coffee drinker like my husband (who drinks it black)...I adore my morning coffee (with a little sweetness added in). even if I have to reheat it 17 times because I hold the beloved title of mom to little ones.
I hope you'll consider looking around the coffee shop and buying a bag or so. cheers!

how come?

2011-03-15T10:06:00.000-07:00

throughout the day eden comes up with some of the funniest, sweetest, thought provoking questions I've ever heard. I love it.
this morning she asked me..."mom. how come moms know how to do EVERYTHING?". hahaha! I explained that we don't...but that moms try their hardest to always help whenever we can. today she has also asked me what a laboratory is, why she is always sisters with charlotte (even when they hit each other), and if her strawberry shortcake doll will always smell like strawberries. I love age 4. but, really their hasn't been an age I don't love.

she also tells me a multiple times a day that I am the sweetest mom in the whole world (which couldn't possibly be true)...and things like she is never going to let me go. such a sweetie pie.

charlotte is also at a fun age (20 months!). she thinks she is 4 and can do anything big sis can do. lately her two favorite things are swinging and learning new songs to sing. when she wants to go outside and swing she says "mom (yes, she calls me mom) I do ready, set, go...shoes on?". she still calls me mommy when she is upset or needing some loving.

here is a little movie of charlotte showing off some memorization skills...telling where some of her family lives (el paso, georgia, and england).

please continue to keep ethiopia and adoption in your prayers. we are SO hopeful...and things seem to be looking better than originally rumored. we still don't know anything for certain...other than what is most important. that God is writing this story and He is in control...which is really all we need to know.

my sunshines

2011-03-10T08:13:00.000-08:00

both of my girls love the song "you are my sunshine". I sing it an average of 10 times a day.
it really is impossible to not smile when they are around...and not forget about things that are weighing heavy on your heart.
they remind me how to be carefree. enjoy leaves and rocks and tree climbing.

and bubble blowing...

I am so thankful for my beautiful sunshines.
yesterday as we were hanging out in the front yard eden said "mom. isn't it nice to sit outside in the sun and get our vitamint D?" yes. yes it is.

please, PLEASE keep praying for ethiopia and adoption and all of the children needing families.

saying goodbye

2011-03-08T20:51:00.000-08:00

about a week and a half ago our dog jesse started acting funny. pete was in guatemala. she just seemed sad and lethargic. a few days later she stopped wanting to eat. we bought her some different food, but she couldn't hold anything down. I took her to the vet yesterday morning and they were very concerned. they took some blood and told us they would know the results the next day. I really just wanted to know what was wrong with her before we started treating her for everything under the sun.

this morning the vet called us and told us that her kidneys were failing. we could start an aggressive treatment plan that wouldn't cure her or promise us much more time...or we could let her go.
I could hardly stand the thought of not having her around...but could also hardly stand to see her so sick. today she wouldn't stand up or even lift her head up to say hello.
I got jesse from the animal shelter a little over 8 years ago...after doug died. my friend laurie went with me to pick her out. jesse was really shy but sweet. oh, and she came with that name. I never thought it was a very good dog name. she quickly became my sidekick and helped me feel a little less lonely. I have this picture of us together my first Christmas without doug...just hanging together with somber faces.
she was always laid back. let the kids pull on her ears and pretend she was their horse to ride on. she was the first to welcome eden home from the hospital when she was a day old. about 7 times a day charlotte says "shoe socks on...see jesse...I pet her"...and we go outside to see her.

this afternoon it became quite clear to me that I needed to let her go. we all told her goodbye which was pretty hard. this is the last picture I took of her. she even had her own casas por cristo dog house made by petey.

I stayed with her until she was gone at the vet's office. and then walked out with teary eyes...and an empty collar and leash.
sure will miss her. I bet we walked 1,000 miles together.

"dogs lives are too short. their only fault, really."
--carlotta monterey o'neill

what is a referral?

2011-03-07T13:08:00.000-08:00

oh adoption terminology. I still get confused by it all.
my friend keight asked me to explain what exactly a referral is...and what happens next in the process.
gladly.
a referral happens when our agency calls us and tells us that they have matched us with a child. we receive a picture of the child along with their history and medical information. then, we accept the child's referral. unfortunately we won't be able to share pictures on our blog or facebook. so you'll have to take our word for it that he is beautiful...because I know he will be :). once the acceptance papers are received by holt they are sent to ethiopia for the MOWYCA (ministry of women, youth, and children affairs) for approval.
THEN after that approval a court date is scheduled. the time frame from a referral acceptance to court date is up to 4 months (at this point). when pete and I fly to ethiopia for our court date we get to meet our child. then we'll travel back home and wait for our visa interview date to be assigned by the US embassy in ethiopia. this can take 3 months or so.
after ALL of that is approved and final we are granted guardianship and are DONE with the adoption process in ethiopia. and we bring our son to his new home.
after he is home we will have to finalize his adoption according to US law in texas.

so there's a sort of brief summary.
looking forward to adding another set of feet to my dishwashing helper chair.

getting SO close!

2011-03-06T13:04:00.000-08:00

well...we learned this weekend that a couple that turned in their dossier to holt 3 days before ours got their referral last week! so we are inching closer and closer! I think I will be sleeping with my phone for the next few weeks.

(charlotte can't believe it!)

please, if you are the praying/believing sort, say some prayers for our family this week. also pray for ethiopian adoption and those making decisions on behalf of the children there. there is talk of more change coming and we are praying our hearts out that goodness and justice prevail. and that wise decisions are made.

In OTHER family news...our ministry casas por cristo is going to start building homes in Guatemala!! pete just got back from an 8 day trip to work on the logistics of starting a ministry there. we are extremely excited to see what God has planned for the people we will be showing his love to there. here is a video that our ministry put together...

the plan is to start building homes for a few weeks there starting this summer! casas por cristo will NOT be leaving mexico...just adding another location to our ministry.
can't wait to bring the hope of Christ to beautiful faces like this...

such exciting times!

one dozen

2011-03-03T13:38:00.000-08:00

that's right. I *think* we are number 12!!
things have been moving right along in referral land. however, one never knows how long these things will take. but we are HAPPY to be movin' on up.
here are some silly/sweet pictures of the girls this week.

(yes. she is going on the potty some!)

eden has been talking about her baby brother all the time, and loves to watch lucy lane's gotcha day video. she sings along to all of the songs..."when God made you he must have been thinkin' about MEEEEE". it's pretty stinking adorable.
love my girls. getting closer and closer to my boy!

brown AND BLUE!

2011-02-28T13:51:00.000-08:00

hey guys! we needed to make one more t-shirt order for our sweet buddies in the corinth christian church childrens group. they are raising money for our adoption!! and they are givers!
we ordered more kids shirts...as well as some adult sizes. they weren't able to print them in the original brown color...so now we have BLUE shirts...and I think they look great! we have the blue ones available in adult SMALL and MEDIUM. still the same soft, great feel...and the same fit. we also have the brown adult version in L, XL, and XXL.
we are still raising funds to buy our plane tickets, so if you feel like you want to help out we would be so thankful.
the directions are over on the right side of the blog on how to buy the shirts! thanks again!!
Oh AND we are in the TEENS as far as a wait list number (from what we can guess). TEENS people! getting closer!! I am a little giddy.

daddy's girl

2011-02-27T22:45:00.000-08:00

the little sweetie pie pictured above LOVES her daddy. when he goes away on trips out of the country she sleeps with his picture under her pillow. the way they love each other is one of the sweetest joys of my life. he plays pretend with her...tickles her til she screams with laughter...buys her push pops from lowe's...and they have read through her story book bible almost 3 times together.
when eden sees a homeless person she wonders if her daddy can build them a house.
last week she got a new pad of paper to "write lists on" at the target dollar spot. it has hearts and puppies on it. she is going to make lists of things that daddy could help people with...like give them warm clothes, or food if they were hungry.
in her mind...there isn't much he can't do.
I wish every little girl could have a daddy like him.

healer

2011-02-24T13:15:00.000-08:00

I listen to music a lot. so if you get bored of me referring to song lyrics in posts...sorry bout that.
kari jobe is a favorite of mine these days. there really isn't a song of hers that I don't like.
there's this one called healer. and it says
I believe you're my healer. I believe you are all I need.
and it talks about Jesus walking through fire with us. and says he calms our raging seas. heals all our disease.
then she sings "I trust in you. I trust in you."
there were some months and years in my life when I couldn't truthfully sing those words. I didn't know if I believed anymore. if I trusted. I felt like I needed to have God completely figured out before I sang him those words again. which is hilarious. figure out God? riiiight.
I felt like I needed to know why bad things happened. why Doug died. why it seemed like everyone had cancer. what heaven exactly was.
but then a little miracle happened. (after many people loved and prayed for me)... I started to believe again. I started to trust. I started to realize that I'd never figure all that stuff out. or God (you know, the creator of the universe), for that matter. I knew that all I needed to understand was in his book...and the rest I'd learn over dinner talk in the heavenly realms.
and I felt like I was healing.
which brings me to the point of all this writing. I've been wondering about healing a bunch lately. I've prayed a lot to God that he would continue to heal my hurting heart. continue to patch up the tears and rips that sometimes open up and squirt all over my soul. I'm pretty certain that the fact that doug isn't here will always ache. when I talk about healing I'm not talking about not missing him anymore. or forgetting memories. I'm looking for that peace that quiets my tears and gets me going again. and allows me to focus on life now.
...
last night I cried a lot. I needed to see pictures.

I wondered about how much longer it would be until all was restored and we were all in heaven and there weren't any more tears or death or disease.
when I finally closed my eyes I asked God to keep healing me. I also asked him to tell Doug hi for me (hey, a girl can ask!). and you know what? he did (continue heal me, that is. not sure about the heavenly hello). and he still is. and today is another day to get up. and teach my girls about Jesus. and love him. and be thankful for my beautiful life and serve.
I still cried a little today. but I felt so incredibly loved, too.
I hope you can believe and trust today.
he can keep healing you, if you ask...I am so sure of it.
when I sing words of the song "healer" to Jesus now...it is a big deal. I get this big lump in my throat. because now. I know
"nothing is impossible for you.
nothing is impossible.
you hold my world in your hands."

is forever enough

2011-02-21T08:06:00.000-08:00

they didn't have you where I come from

never knew the best was yet to come

life began when I saw your face

and I hear your laugh like a serenade

how long do you wanna be loved?
is forever enough
is forever enough?

how long do you wanna be loved?

is forever enough

cause I'm never, never giving you up

(thanks dixie chicks)

pedro's day

2011-02-17T14:04:00.000-08:00

yesterday was my handsome husband's birthday.

it happened to be a beautiful 83 degrees in el paso...so eden and I bought some water guns at target. 3 water guns to be exact. around 4 p.m. daddy and his girls had a water gun fight. I think daddy won...and the girls had fun running around in their bathing suits. I tried to snap pictures without being squirted...but did get a little bit wet. charlotte insisted on wearing shoes. and socks.

then we went to chico's tacos (pete's choice) for birthday dinner. and came home to a homemade chocolate pie (his mother's recipe) for dessert. it was the first time I'd ever attempted to recreate mimi's chocolate pie...and I was so happy that it tasted like hers!

kids...don't try that at home.
I know he had a happy day. and I hope that God gives him tons and tons of more days and birthdays to spend with us on earth serving Him.

valentine birth day

2011-02-14T20:25:00.000-08:00

we had a very eventful valentine's day this year! we woke up to a phone call telling us that our niece violet was ready to be born! this put pete's parents in a bit of a pickle...because they were at our house in el paso. so...they hopped on a plane and actually made it to the hospital in athens, GA on time. she was just born...16 days before her due date...at a healthy 6 lbs 4 oz! I've only seen pictures on my phone, but she is gorgeous with dark hair and big, full lips. we can hardly wait to snuggle her! and I can't wait to take pictures of her.
we did get to share a meal of papa's delicious heart shaped pancakes before they left, and the girls loved that.

the rest of the day we just sort of hung around the house. we made our new guess of a wait list number out of valentine-ish things. we think we are around number 20!! yay!!

the girls wore bows that have the ethiopian flag symbol on them today. I got them from a fellow adoption mama blogger that adopted with holt and LOVE them.

and we also gave pete/daddy his valentine cards and he thought they were pretty great. thanks snapfish.

and we ended the day with five guys burgers and fries for dinner. french fries are so romantic :).
we are so loved by our Father. so in love with our family. and so thankful to add more love to our hearts with the birth of miss violet! happy valentine's and birthday!

sixty feet

2011-02-13T20:40:00.000-08:00

while I was at the created for care retreat I learned about a ministry called sixty feet. on saturday evening we watched an incredible movie about this beautiful organization, and listened to one of their team members speak about how God is working through them in Uganda.
when I went to see this short film about this ministry I expected it to be like something I'd already seen before...about orphan care or adoption or poverty. I wasn't prepared to be shocked by what I saw. and I most definitely was.
sixty feet doesn't just care for orphans. they are changing the lives of wrongly confined orphans. they are "an action-based organization created to bring hope and restoration to the imprisoned children of africa". you read that right. wrongly imprisoned children. 3 words that don't belong anywhere near each other. but it's real. and it's really happening.
sixty feet is working to help children trapped by a life where they are locked up, living in their own filth, and have little to no food or supervision.
I really want to encourage you to go to their website and read their story.
I picked up a little flyer at their booth about doing a cupcake fundraiser with your kids. I told eden that maybe we could make valentine cupcakes to try and raise money for orphans in uganda. she was all about it. we baked up about 4 dozen cupcakes and took them to our church that we LOVE...that meets in a coffee shop called the percolator. she raised $150 from 40 or so heart-sprinkled cakes.
we are so thankful to be a small part of helping this ministry take care of these sweet children.

so. what are you waiting for? go make some cupcakes, too!

no stain

2011-02-07T13:27:00.000-08:00

this weekend I attended the created for care adoption retreat. and it is going to take a couple of posts to tell even a portion of how much I learned, and how beautiful those three days were for my soul.
right now I'll just share a really personal Jesus and Abby moment that happened the last few minutes of the retreat on sunday morning.
one of our speakers, the AMAZING Dr. Susan Hillis (senior scientist at the CDC researching the HIV/orphan crisis AND is an adoptive mom of 10!) felt that the Lord wanted her to play a song for the 250+ mothers in the audience. so she did. because she's obedient like that. I'd never heard Kari Jobe's song called "my beloved".
it's pretty much a love song from God to His children.
so I closed my eyes and listened...because I listen the best that way, not because I think it is super spiritual.
the first few sentences made me teary. "you're my beloved, you're my bride. to sing over you is my delight. come away with me my love". to sing over me is His delight? wowzahs.
but then she sung the words "I see no STAIN on you my child. you're beautiful to me"

and I am 100 % sure that no one else in the audience had the same thoughts I did at that very moment. because no one else there had a birthmark medically termed a "port wine STAIN" on their forehead. no one else there was born with a fairly large reddish that changed to pink mark on their face. they might have been stared at for other reasons throughout their lives. but not because of a stain.
if I had a dime for every time someone asked me what it was, told me what shape they thought it looked like, what their child thought of it, or simply brought up the fact that it was there....I'd be a rich lady.
and no, I don't have some sort of psychological damage from growing up with a birthmark on my head. most times it doesn't bother me. but sometimes in new places or airports I get tired of people looking at it. and the elementary school/middle school years were not fun.
so anyways. the song. I have no idea why it took until age 28 for me to hear this song and get it through my brain the way God sees me. He sees no stain. not a port wine one...or any of the ugliness I see inside of me. He came and washed those stains away. and I've known and believed the part about the sinful stains being gone since I was a little bitty girl. but for some reason this picture of Him seeing no stains on my skin or inside my soul made things so clear in my heart yesterday morning.
and I am so grateful that God told Susan Hillis to play that song.
recently I have seen myself as not good enough at anything. mom. wife. Christ follower. exerciser. eat righter.
but that isn't how He sees me at all. it is His delight to sing over me. He thinks I am beautiful. AND He made me stainless.
I thought I was going to this retreat to learn all about adoption. which I did. oh boy, I DID. but I also learned about myself and was refreshed. and healed in a lot of ways.
I am listening to this kari jobe song right now as I type this. and my 4 yr old, eden, told me not to turn it off because ken and barbie were dancing to it.
ha!
nothing like a little child to turn my tears into laughter. love her.

they weren't lying

2011-02-02T12:47:00.000-08:00

it's snowin'. it's cold. freezing in fact. it was around 7 degrees this morning and we've warmed up to a toasty 14. coldest el paso day in 20 years. the power has been on and off, but we are extremely thankful for our warm, sturdy house. seems like there are so many people freezing all over the country with all the blizzards and extreme weather. praying it all goes away soon!
pete and some other casas por cristo missionaries just crossed into freezing mexico to deliver coats, blankets, hats, gloves, and other warmness. his truck has been having some issues starting so the girls and I stayed home...although I wanted to go with all of my heart. we pray that these gifts show these people Jesus. that He cares. He loves.
here is a little of what we've been doing on this snowy day. I haven't gone outside except to let the dogs out. making a snow man just isn't that appealing to me yet.
we made some snow flakes...don't mind the dirty window :)

tried on daddy's hat....

then had to brush out that hat hair.

hugged.

kissed.

smiled.

endured the smell of the world's stinkiest chihuahua

let jesse (the mostly outside dog) inside

found our snowman hair bow

took this picture of lencho's dog house

and...played inside doll houses.

we are praying for pete's safe return, as well as the rest of the group. and watching the snow flurry down to the ground. hope you are all safe and warm!

winter what?

2011-01-31T21:54:00.000-08:00

the weather peeps of el paso keep warning us about winter weather invading the sun city for the next 3 days or so. I am not, I repeat, NOT happy about this. I'm a Georgia girl, born and raised. and now...I'm an el pasoan. anything below 60 is not ok with me. they are even talking about snow on wednesday. ugh. go ahead and make fun. just being honest here, people.
I am really going to try and embrace the weather by eating soup and drinking warm beverages and the like. but in my heart I'll be dreaming of drying charlie's diapers in the sweet texas sun, and letting the girls go barefoot in the backyard.

this weather also makes me worry so much about our friends and neighbors across the bridges in juarez. can you imagine living through freezing temperatures in a home made out of cardboard or pallets? please remember juarez and it's people in your prayers. the casas por cristo blog posted a story about the deaths in juarez due to the freezing temperatures that you can read about HERE.
pete will head across the border in the morning to pour the slab and start on a new home for a family there. thankful that one more family will be provided for...and still can't help but think about those still waiting for a house.
don't forget to thank God today for your home. I know I won't.

want to change some lives?

2011-01-27T13:22:00.000-08:00

a little video about the ministry we love and serve with. casas por cristo.
wanna come?

twenty something

2011-01-25T14:18:00.000-08:00

this past week has been filled with ups and downs for our adoption process. not really downs...but just new parts and regulations...and that always makes me feel a little confused and overwhelmed. everything is still great...it's just that international adoption seems to always be changing and evolving and we just have to try and stay on top of understanding it all.
the happy news is that at least 7 referrals were given out last week! so that means we are AT LEAST number 27....and I think we are less. our agency has decided to no longer give out actual wait list numbers. the reason behind this is that they don't really go in order to match children with families. they match the children based on what child they feel will be the best fit for each specific family. they are giving us time lines and keeping us updated, and so we still feel like we know where we are in the line up. I think I am still going to make up numbers and take pictures of them...just for fun! who doesn't like a count down?!
SO. good, happy things are happening for holt families and we are so thankful to see children being matched with families. it has been so slow going the last few months and a big batch of referrals was very encouraging.
also. I've been meaning to post pictures of this special Christmas present since I received it...

my best friend natalie painted this for me. I found the quote on another blog and LOVED it. it is from story people. we both cried a little when she gave it to me (along with the books E is for Ethiopia and the colors of us!!). whenever I am feeling a little down or missing the baby boy I don't even know...this beautiful piece of art always cheers me up.
thanks natty.
and thanks to all of you commenters and readers...I so appreciate your prayers and encouragement and words and love.

the princesses and the pea

2011-01-18T09:58:00.000-08:00

it is no secret that eden loves to read. here she is lost in her bookshelf.

this Christmas her aunt and uncle gave her the book "the princess and the pea". but not just any old princess and the pea...a version that has an african setting! it is by rachel isadora and you can see it HERE. it has beautiful illustrations and we LOVE to read it...daily.

yesterday, the girls played pretend princess and the pea using pillows for mattresses. and wouldn't you know...they felt the pea! but, I already knew they were real princesses.

and in other news. pete bought me tulips. aren't they pretty?

have a happy tuesday!

just stay this little

2011-01-14T13:51:00.000-08:00

our girls are at such sweet ages. we spend hours coloring, playing dress up, painting...and eden's latest favorite...playing OLD MAID! hahaha! the first few times we played I ended up with the old maid card at the end, which eden thought was SO funny. the first time she lost and was branded the old maid she didn't feel quite the same way. she cried. and I tried not to laugh. so I told her it was funny to be the old maid...not sad. so, now, we laugh and laugh when the game is over. which might not sound funny to you...but trust me, her loud laughter is hilarity.

and maybe you didn't know...but the art of painting a tin can to be used as a pencil holder is still very much alive and well.

and I do realize this is impossible...but I sure do wish they'd stay this little.

sometimes I pretend

2011-01-12T13:30:00.000-08:00

that I am a photographer.
because I really love to take pictures. but don't really know what I'm doing.
my sister-in-law named jessica is pregnant with my niece named violet. while we were home I took some maternity photos for her. and I love the way some of them turned out. I had great pictures taken when I was pregnant with charlotte, but really regret not taking many during my pregnancy with eden pie.
so here are some of my faves. thanks for letting me take these jessica and stephen!
I'm pretty certain that miss violet is destined to be a beauty.

need two babies, mommy

2011-01-08T12:36:00.000-08:00

this is charlotte's latest phrase. she is obsessed with two things as of late. babies and spoons (which she calls moonies). she cannot ever hold just one baby. she "need two babies, mommy". and especially when she sleeps.
so, so sweet.

and so, we'll wait some more

2011-01-07T13:10:00.000-08:00

we got some news from our adoption agency this week. and it was a little hard to swallow. the news was that we will be waiting longer than originally anticipated for our little boy. we were told to expect 6 to 9 months from dossier to referral...and now we might have to wait up to a year for a referral. our agency is wonderful and fully explained the changes and reasons for the increased wait times. but, like I said...it was really hard/sad for us to think about waiting longer for our son. we already love him so much and are so looking forward to knowing who he is!
but. we are more than willing to wait as long as it takes for our referral. and we fully trust our agency and appreciate their hard work to bring families together and care for orphans. we're just reprogramming our hearts and brains for this new time frame. our dossier was submitted in october, so we could potentially not receive his referral until october 2011. this would mean he wouldn't be home until 2012. but if I think about it like that...I get upset! we're just taking things one month at a time. loving raising our daughters. and excited for the future.
and...like I said. this is all just a guess. they just wanted us to know that at this time things will be slowing down and they are hoping things will pick up in the coming months. I am still holding onto the hope of having him home in 2011...because, why not? hoping for this year, knowing that it might not come to be. and always knowing that it will all happen at the exact, right, beautiful time.
yesterday I cleaned out the top of eden's closet. I came across some baby boy clothes that my sister let me have in case charlotte was a boy. I saved them because I thought one day I might have a son. when I stumbled upon them I got all teary. picturing his sweet, brown skin in this light blue outfit I'd picked up. oh, what a day that will be!
So there is our adoption update. thank you SO much for being a part of this journey with us.

kisses from charlotte :)

shadow puppets

2011-01-02T11:55:00.000-08:00

a few days ago I found eden making shadow puppets on the wall. it was so cute watching her try to figure out how to make different animals with her hands and fingers. I love capturing these childhood memories.

we are still just sitting on the list for baby boy. I am hoping for a little more action in these first few months of 2011. hoping, hoping, hoping!

our violet

2010-12-31T08:33:00.000-08:00

yesterday my mother-in-law and I hosted a baby shower for my soon coming niece...to be named violet. we are over the moon with excitement for jessica and stephen...and that we will have a cousin on pete's side of the family! she is due march 2nd...so it won't be too long before we can see her beautiful face! we couldn't help but use her name as a theme for the shower. who doesn't like the color violet!?

eden made a special present for violet. she drew her name on a cloth along with a violet flower, and then I embroidered it and added some fun buttons and cloth. it turned out pretty sweet and cute.

can't wait to meet our precious violet.

chilly SNOWY days

2010-12-26T18:14:00.000-08:00

here are a few pictures from the fun, COLD times we've had while home for Christmas! we are loving being in Georgia with our family and can't believe we saw snowflakes and had a white Christmas!

can't stop thinking and hoping and praying we'll have our new little one home by this time next year.

another great fundraiser!

2010-12-19T21:29:00.000-08:00

just wanted to share with everyone about a great fundraiser that a fellow bloggy adoption mom is having. the first weekend of february I am attending a retreat for mom's that are adopting/have adopted/love adoption...etc. I can HARDLY wait. I feel like it is a once in a lifetime opportunity to go and learn all I can about adoption from experienced, wonderful, Jesus loving people. the fact that I am actually leaving my children over night means this is a BIG huge deal that I really feel will benefit our family.
to help cut costs for the retreat Andrea at babe of my heart is selling some wonderful "love makes a family" t-shirts.
go check them out...and see how to get one HERE!
I LOVE them. andrea is the one who came up with this retreat and is organizing it all. some of the sessions that will be offered include: bonding and attachment, ethiopian culture, and HIV and adoption.
can't wait to soak it all in and learn things with a bunch of strangers that I'm sure will instantly become friends.

letters to santa

2010-12-14T12:18:00.000-08:00

today the girls wrote their letters to santa. eden wrote all of the letters by herself...and I told her how to spell the words. charlotte colored blue...because she wants a cookie monster for Christmas. or, at least I think she does. we mailed them off to the north pole today...in hopes that santa reads them and approves them as good girls for the year.

"dear santa, I want a rapunzel and dorothy and glinda. love, eden"

our new number!

2010-12-12T16:38:00.000-08:00

we are now number 34 on the wait list! I hope the ornaments are sort of shaped that way! I think I will try to incorporate the season for every new number we receive. that will be fun to look back on.
we're excited to be 3 steps closer to our son!

the only thing...

2010-12-09T12:53:00.000-08:00

that separates us from the animals...

is our ability to accessorize!
--steel magnolias

today

2010-12-08T13:03:00.000-08:00

today our house still smells like a Christmas tree. because of our REAL (pete prefers fake, boo) tree, and the spruce tree candle I have had burning for hours.

today we are looking at bunk beds for the girls. just looking.
today we've stayed in our pj's all day. our friend jonas came to play and he was already dressed at 8:30 a.m. whoa.
today I had to find our little people baby Jesus because charlotte always takes him and then I have to search for him in every room of the house.
today I watched eden cackle with delight at old tom and jerry cartoons...she LOVES them!
today I hope we get some more sweet Christmas cards in the mail. love those.
on friday we should find out our new wait list number. it might not be a huge difference from 37...but I'm ok with that. I really know that God has a baby boy picked just for our family and we will meet him at a perfect time.
these pictures were taken the other day. not today. but I had to share them anyway.

those are their zoo pants that mawmaw sewed them. and yes, we were at the zoo! the afternoons here are still sunny and beautiful.
so there you have it. today...friday...and a few days ago.
off to think of Christmas presents for some family and friends!

give warmth

2010-12-04T10:46:00.000-08:00

if you didn't already know...our family, the texas petes, are missionaries to juarez, mexico with casas por cristo. we live minutes from the border of texas and juarez, mexico. we help teams build homes for people that live in houses made out of cardboard and wooden palettes. we give them a free home and show them Jesus.
recently we have had freezing temperatures at night and horrible, gusty winds. it's just plain cold. and we can't help but think about and hurt for our neighbors that try to fall asleep feeling so cold at night. and wake up the same way.
this Christmas as you are warm and toasty in your home...making cookies and enjoying this most wonderful time, maybe you'll consider helping someone else stay warm?
casas por cristo has a heater and electric blanket fund that you can donate to and help some of these families feel so much warmer if you would like to do so.
just click HERE and then hit the donate NOW button. It will take you to a form where you can specify how much you would like to give...and then where it says program area hit the drop down arrow and click heat fund. you'll receive a receipt for this tax deductible gift.
$30 will provide a family with 2 electric blankets...but any amount will help.
our 4 year old, eden, has been spending the nights across the border helping build homes since she was weeks old. she knows about how her mexican neighbors live. she knows how blessed by God she is to have a home with heat and insulation.
the other day we emptied out her piggy bank and counted how much money she had. $17 and some odd cents. and she is giving it all to the heat fund.

maybe you have some change sitting around?

you can also read about the the heat fund HERE.

thanks!

taking inventory

2010-11-29T14:49:00.000-08:00

so we've had a little sickness floating around our house. eden had a fever on saturday. I felt flu-ish most of the weekend. and even little char-char has a stuffy/runny nose, cough, and other ickiness that is super gross in cloth diapers.
but I'm hoping it will all be gone soon. I've washed the sheets and washed everyone's hands a million times.
I'm a little bummed that I don't have a new wait list number to share with you. we've been on the list for over a month and NO movement. I was fine up until yesterday. now I am checking everything and anything I can that might indicate someone got a referral and that we've moved up the list. I just need a little something that suggests progress, that's all. ugh.
soon soon soon, I hope.
ALSO...today I took inventory on our adoption t-shirts. here is what we have left for anyone that would still like one.
Adult sizes: S-1, M-6, L-14, XL-8, XXL-1
Kids sizes: XS-1, L-2, XL-3

So, hurry and get them while we have them! and thanks to everyone who has already supported us!
and one more bit of miscellany.
we decorated for Christmas the day before Thanksgiving. we are leaving before Christmas and won't be back til after the new year...so we decorated early so we could enjoy it for a bit.
every year I say I am going to put our names on our stockings...and then I never do. SO, this year I am finally doing it. I started with charlotte's because her name is the longest. and I have "e" and "d" put on eden's...so I'm making progress!

we don't have a fireplace so our stocking are hung on an antique suitcase with care.
I can't wait to add another stocking to that line up. I keep dreaming of holding him. wondering what his hair will smell like when I kiss the top of his head. mmmmm.

thanks give away!

2010-11-22T14:10:00.000-08:00

a fellow adopting blogger is having a great give away and I think you should go check it out! click HERE to see everything you could win from lara and her family. They are simply asking for a $10 donation for the chance to win all that stuff. so go buy a slice of their pie by clicking HERE!!
help bring another sweet child home to a family that will love it for always.

candy corn cookies

2010-11-20T21:44:00.000-08:00

while we were in GA eden and her mimi made candy corn cookies. and I documented the process. it was an easy, fun activity for both of them.
here's how to make them. you know, just in case you'd like to....or you need a fun last minute thanksgiving dessert idea.

start out with a tube of sugar cookie dough and mix in 1/2 cup of flour. then separate the dough into 3 equal parts. leave one of the parts alone...then use food coloring to dye one orange, and one yellow.

then, roll them into long cylinder/rope shapes. flour your surface and line them up together. then roll them together with a rolling pin so it looks like one long line of candy corn dough goodness.

slice them into triangle/candy corn shapes and bake them at 350 degrees until they are as done as you like them. I prefer a softer cookie. maybe 10 minutes?

then...enjoy! I think they are so cute.

how great is our God

2010-11-16T10:30:00.000-08:00

well. I'm back!
and today I have a little story about my daughters. surprised, aren't you?
when charlotte was a few hours old my cousin amy brought eden up to the hospital to meet her little sister. when eden arrived she hopped up in the hospital bed and sat with me. charlotte wasn't in the room just yet. both of our girls were surprise deliveries and we hadn't told eden if the baby was a girl or a boy. when they wheeled charlotte into the room eden reached out her arms and said "let me have it! let me have it!". so pete placed charlotte in her arms and told her she had a baby sister. she looked her over and said some sisterly greetings. and then, without prompting, she started to sing the words to the song 'how great is our God'. in the sweetest 2 year and 9 month old voice you've ever heard. and between grandparents, parents, and cousins...there wasn't a dry eye in that hospital room. I'm not making this up, either.
the splendor of the king. clothed in majesty. let all the earth rejoice, all the earth rejoice.

so, this morning the girls and I were headed home from a doctor appointment. 'how great is our God' came on the radio. eden yelled "turn it louder, mom!". and then charlotte started singing some sort of jibberish, because her sister was singing. she was also clapping her hands and smiling.
and I couldn't help but think back to that very first day of charlotte's life. and I couldn't help but hope that eden continues to belt "and my heart will sing...how great is our God!" for her entire life. and teach her little sister the same sweet words.

doro wat!

2010-11-02T19:35:00.000-07:00

tonight I made an ethiopian chicken stew in the crock pot called doro wat. I love trying/making new foods, and it was especially fun making something ethiopian. I also attempted an easy injera recipe that certainly wasn't the real deal...but it was yummy, too.
TA DA!

I am staying with my in-laws this week and they were willing to give it a shot...and it was a success! everyone tried it and liked it! eden said it was too spicy, but I was glad she tried some bites. and even little charlotte had some boiled egg, injera, and chicken. love my sort of adventurous eaters.

after dinner we read the new book we got in the mail today called a mother for choco. it is my new favorite book to read to the girls. choco is a bird who needs a mother...and he finds one that doesn't look anything like him...mama bear.

'twas an ethiopian-ish, adoption-y day.

three little pumpkins

2010-11-01T13:08:00.000-07:00

every year we carve a pumpkin for each child. so, this year I thought our baby in ethiopia needed one, too. pete is always the designated pumpkin carver...but I gave it a shot and it wasn't so bad. I actually liked it.

eden was dorothy this year and charlotte was a flower...that we called a munchkin. I LOVED watching them trick or treat with their cousins for the first time ever.
oh and I made them cute little pumpkin shirts for the pumpkin patch this year...so I had to show those off, too!

such a fun october!

star crunch breakfast

2010-10-30T07:34:00.000-07:00

as I sit here and type our 15 month old is having a little debbie snack as part of her breakfast. why, you ask? because she is at her grandparent's house. I gave her milk, grapes, and some cheerios...which she ate happily. then an hour later she went to the pantry and my mom opened it...and she came out with a star crunch. my mom says it is healthier than a reese's peanut butter cup which is what she wanted initially. sure it is. I am sure that when I was 15 months old this would not have been an option as a part of a morning snack...but she wasn't the grandmother then now was she?
enjoy it charlotte mae.
we've been making the most of our time at home in the fall. we miss our daddy, but have tried to fill our days with fun activities and cousin time. I highly recommend the children's museum in atlanta called "imagine it". we took 6 of the 10 harbin cousins (4 of them born within 9 months of each other) and stayed for 3 hours. the kids would have stayed all day. we only left because we were hungry for the varsity. the grease was beckoning us.
painting L to R is: my little brother john with his daughter abigail in a carrier, charlotte, jackson, eden, june, and reagan.

oh, and before petey left we all went to the yellow river game ranch and fed some deer and bunnies and ducks. I grew up having cows, horses, chickens, burros, rabbits, and of course the usual dogs, fish, and hampsters. So, I love seeing the girls around animals.

can I please, one day, just live on a big farm? in a big white house that has a wrap around porch with a green roof. hey, a girl can dream.

wait list! we have a number!!

2010-10-25T15:14:00.000-07:00

it is with great great JOY that I say unto you my blog reading friends....we are number

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yes 37!!
we received our I171H approval in the mail on saturday!! our sweet friends mikell and lindsay are checking our mail while we are gone and they called saturday to tell me the good news. then they drove straight to kinkos (without me asking!) and scanned the paperwork and emailed it to me right away! I forwarded the info onto our agency immediately...so this morning I got the email we'd be waiting so long for that told us our NUMBER!!
this means we are number 37 on the list of holt families waiting for a child of any age or gender. our organization doesn't separate the list by child preference. we also got to request a BOY today! I have been floating on a cloud all day long...and I even got to talk to pete (in papua new guinea) and tell him the good news!
each month we will get a new number that will keep going down until we are close enough for a referral of a child!
I tried to take a cute picture of our girls in front of another leafy 37 that I'd made...but they didn't really want to smile. I did get an added bonus of wonderful when my nephew jackson wanted to get in the picture. he is just as excited as they are.

oh happy day!
p.s. we went to the varsity today, too. and the children's museum in atlanta called "imagine it"! talk about a day of wonderful! more on that later.

ethiopian crock pot recipe!

2010-10-22T08:01:00.000-07:00

look what stephanie o'dea is cooking up today?? Ethiopian stew !! I was so excited to see this today! It is a chicken stew called doro wat...and I can't wait to try it. y'all know I am a sucker for all things crock pot. and all things Ethiopian.
we have been traveling the last few days...thus the lack of posts. my husband and father left yesterday and are bound for papua new guinea. they'll be gone for about 3 weeks and are helping build a home for a bible translator there. we will miss them oh SO much, but are very proud they are making this journey for the second time! Over 65% of the world’s 6,800+ language groups still do not have even a portion of God’s Word in their own language. isolated by linguistic, cultural, political, even geographic barriers that cut them off from the Good News of Jesus Christ, hundreds of millions of people still wait. what a joy for pete and dad to be a part of bringing God's story to language groups so far from home.
while they are away the girls and I are home in GA. which is just wonderful. Eden turned 4 a few days after we got here. her daddy made her a princess cake...and we had fun with cousins and family.

yes. their carpenter daddy with blistery rough hands...also makes fancy cakes and his own butter cream frosting.
we are loving every minute of seeing fall. we don't really see leaves change in el paso, and I always miss this crisp time of year in the south. it will be the first time that my girls get to trick or treat with their cousins...and go to a pumpkin patch together. I have to make myself stop daydreaming while I watch the leaves fall as the wind blows.

I think charlotte likes fall, too.

thinking about the babe

2010-10-13T14:52:00.000-07:00

when we began the adoption process I thought a bunch about the child we were going to adopt. I wondered about him or her. what this sweet one would look like. how our children would love this baby. how much we would, too.
but now, a couple of months into it things are a little different. now I get teary missing this child. I actually miss a child that I have never met and might not even be born. which to those who are adopting or have adopted doesn't sound strange at all, I'm guessing.
I have the same feelings that I did when I was pregnant with charlotte. always wondering if she was a boy or a girl. who would she look like? what would her cry sound like? and I would burst into tears thinking about how much I loved this baby growing inside of me.
not that I didn't wonder these things with eden...it's just that I had NO clue how much I would love my children until God gave us eden. I mean, I loved her when she was on the inside and even before she was conceived...but when she came out. good grief. that achy, deep, crazy, holy cow my heart my burst wide open LOVE. that's what I didn't know about until she was placed in my arms.
but now I know. and my heart already bursts with love for this baby that isn't growing inside of my uterus...but has already taken up residence in my heart. and every day that we wait that love just grows and grows.
just another thing I didn't know. I didn't know how much I could love a child halfway around the world. I didn't know I'd be chopping up sweet potatoes for dinner and start sniffling because I miss a baby in ethiopia.
still no USCIS approval...but prayers and hopes for a speedy delivery.

disney on ice!

2010-10-06T22:41:00.000-07:00

tonight I took eden to see the great ice skating spectacular that is disney on ice. we went with our buddy jonas and his mom, amy.
I made eden and jonas mickey and minnie shirts and they looked adorable in them.

I stole the idea from laura kelley at pitter patter art who makes the best artwork as an adoption fundraiser. mine were no where near as good as hers, but still fun.

the kids went crazy for every character that skated across the ice.

and maybe I might have been singing along and dancing as well. and amy might have worn mickey mouse ears for most of the show.
the princesses were a hit for eden.

and just when we thought it couldn't get any better.....

TOY STORY characters showed up!!
I might have screamed when I saw jessie....and buzz....and woody.
I can't help it. I love singing and dancing, and especially watching my daughter loving it, too.

fingerprinted!

2010-10-03T21:48:00.000-07:00

pete and I were fingerprinted last week, and we are SO happy! now we just have to wait for our approval from the USCIS and we'll be on the wait list. finally! we are hoping it will come soon, but as with everything else we'll just wait, wait, wait and see.
woo hooo!

painted lady

2010-09-30T15:33:00.000-07:00

in el paso face painting is a big deal. if you really want to have a true el paso birthday party, you will have a face painter. and a pinata, and a bounce house...but back to the face paint. I'm not talking about a little balloon or heart on your cheek. I'm talking entire face coverage. it's crazy. it's like art. last weekend we attended our friend lucia's birthday party in the park.
face painter. check!
eden got a pink butterfly. her friend mia was a cat, and jaxman picked spiderman.

then, this past tuesday we went to chick-fil-a like usual. it's family night. this week's kid activity was ZZ the clown. yes! and there was...a face painter!
so she became a rainbow with a fairy.

fun times for this little girl that I love.

I saw the signs

2010-09-27T20:51:00.000-07:00

today I kept noticing little sayings and words around the house. and I tried to pay attention to them.
my grandmother we called "mamie" went to heaven almost a year ago. some of my most prized possessions are little things from her home. I have these two drinking glasses of hers that pete and I fight over using when they are clean. when the glass is empty...this is what you read.

take life a little easier. deal. sure miss my mame.

we bought eden and charlotte these shirts because we loved their simple message. also...whenever you purchase one of these shirts you support a family's adoption fund. I kept wondering about the sweet child this shirt is helping bring home to their forever family.

caramel apple. these days I need all the help I can get remembering that it is fall. I love this $4 walmart candle. and eden loves blowing it out.

and this. this just makes me laugh. jumbo glitter shaker. every house needs one.

two of my loves on the shelf above our sink. mexico and cadbury world. I only wish one of them wasn't so far away.
so there are the signs I saw today and wanted to make a note of.
on the adoption home front...we have our fingerprint appointments!!! I will definitely update when those are done and we have our USCIS approval and wait list number! we're getting there!
I am a part of a yahoo group for families adopting from ethiopia and there were several referrals given out last week from our agency. I would get so teary reading everyone's stories...it's a 10 month old girl! or a 4 month old boy!...and thinking about what our referral phone call will be like. how our story will unfold. such a miracle.
well. I'm off to take life a little easier.

shirts and aprons!

2010-09-23T10:09:00.000-07:00

just a friendly reminder that we still have our shirts and aprons for sale! we are ordering one more batch of shirts...and then we think that will be it.
thank you to everyone who has already supported us!
directions on how to order are on the right side of the blog.

copy cat

2010-09-21T13:57:00.000-07:00

I saw these on some others blogs... so I needed to make one for our family.
we are hoping for a brother...but his name won't be miles. even though I think that is a great name. I don't know why it made some words larger than others...it didn't depend on the amount of times I entered them, like other wordles I had done in the past. I was referring to the "miles" between el paso and ethiopia.
anyhoo. tada!

weekending

2010-09-20T20:01:00.000-07:00

even though fall officially starts in 2 days...it is still 90 degrees in el paso. I try to embrace the season by burning caramel apple scented candles, brewing pumpkin spice coffee, and of course, eating candy corn. and then when I walk outside...I remember it really won't feel like fall here for another month or more.
so...since it is still swim suit weather, and since mimi sent the girls a package with water balloons in the mail...we decided to have a water balloon fight this weekend.

eden and daddy got wet, while charlotte preferred to try and pop her "ball" open with her teeth. really safe.

we also went to our neighbor's first birthday party. it had a mickey mouse theme and the girls had a great time. they both got their own goody bags, so charlotte now knows what smarties are. and m&ms.

the stink thing about weekends is that they go by way, way too quickly.

woops.

2010-09-16T14:51:00.000-07:00

our dossier was received by holt this afternoon. but it seems that I messed up a little on our end of things. I didn't realize that starting in august the dossier requirements had changed. I did go back and read an old email from holt that told me this...but I guess I didn't understand what they were saying at the time. adoption speak is still a little confusing to me.
basically...our dossier won't be complete until we get approval of the application (I-600A) that we sent to the USCIS. I mailed this almost 2 weeks ago, and apparently approval can take a month or more. SO. it looks like we have some more waiting to do for this to get to us...and THEN our dossier will be complete. and we'll get an official waiting list number.
in the old way (the way I thought things were still happening) you didn't need this approval included in your dossier. I had everything checked off on the old list and was so proud of myself...not realizing it wasn't up to date. sheesh.
and while this is a little bit of a bummer...it's just a little bit more waiting.
live and learn.

on a positive note...at least everything else in our dossier was good to go and we don't need to do any revisions.
I just feel kind of dumb. and wish I had a little adoption helper fairy to guide me along the correct check-off paths.
chin-up!

peace out, dossier!

2010-09-15T16:18:00.000-07:00

well...we mailed in our dossier this afternoon!!
I am floating on air with happiness! just to get all of those official documents together and done and on their way to our agency. whew. sigh.
a special thanks to mi madre for express shipping a special marriage certificate that we needed. it got here at 11:56 a.m. and we were at the postal annex 30 minutes later with our completed dossier.
so now, we'll wait for it to be approved and then we'll be assigned our official number on the waiting list!
thank you everyone for your prayers and support! we have sold 1 apron...a bunch of t-shirts and raised about $2,000 towards our goal of $10,000.
seriously. wow. praise God!

can't wait to add another little person to this group.

adoption aprons

2010-09-13T21:19:00.000-07:00

my sweet seamstress mother came up with a super idea to help us raise funds for this adoption. aprons! she sewed some retro aprons for us to try and sell. she modeled them after her grandmother's aprons, and various 1950's and 60's television moms.
I think they would make perfect Christmas presents for friends or family members that know their way around a kitchen...and might like to look cute while they whip up something delicious.
If you would like to buy one we are selling them for $20. just send me an email at abbydockery@hotmail.com and tell me which one you'd like. then I'll have you donate through our paypal button over there on the right side of the blog.
So...here are the choices!!
#1. the "I love Lucy" (watch out for these hot names mom came up with!)
a red and white half apron with pockets. cute black rick rack used for trim.

#2. SOLD!!! the "June Cleaver" yes!
a floral half apron..with flower pots and watering cans. this apron has two large pockets to stash things in.

#3. SOLD! the "feed sack apron"--a full apron--modeled after my great-grandmother's aprons.
look at this glorious detail! sweet blue bottons, a big front pocket, and fun accent stitching.

#4. SOLD! another "feed sack apron"
retro fruit and flowers material with a large front pocket trimmed with rick rack.

#5. another "June Cleaver" half apron
this version is longer and has the same handy pockets

thanks ma!!

getting fidgety

2010-09-10T14:34:00.000-07:00

eden drew this family portrait on her chalk board last week. in case you can't tell L to R is charlotte, mommy, eden, and daddy.
but I keep wondering about the other chalk face that is to join her world. I keep watching "gotcha day" movies on youtube. and when I kiss the girls 75 million times a day I think about the other face that I will grow to love so much it hurts. and all of the kisses I will give so willingly to him or her.
right now we are waiting for one more state certified item to come in the mail. our home study was approved...and is hopefully on it's way back from the secretary of the big old state of texas. once this important document is in my hands...our dossier will be complete and will be zipped off as quickly as possible to holt.
and then we will have an official wait list number!!!

so right now I'm a little fidgety. and I'm sure I'll get that way again many times throughout this process.

think I'll go kiss this face again. I can hear her waking up from a nice nap.

juarez for the weekend

2010-09-07T22:01:00.000-07:00

this past thursday evening my parents arrived in el paso from atlanta...thanks to a trusty delta airplane. then on friday my in-laws and some great people from their church pulled into the parking lot of our ministry. they had driven the LONG road from loganville, GA to el paso, TX. 24 hours one way. it seems like forever. trust me.
after lots of hugs and kisses from grandparents to granddaughters...we all headed across the border to juarez, mexico. we only had two days to build a home for martin, leticia, jesus, and viviana. if you've never been to juarez...here is what a lot of the homes look like. here is why we go there to build homes...and give love and hope.

the team worked really hard half of thursday and all of friday. a few of them were experienced builders...so that is why the home was able to be completed so quickly.
our little girls gave out candy and toys to the kids that lived around the job site. eden made bird houses out of scraps of wood and had fun painting and playing in the dirt. charlotte also enjoyed getting dirty and sandy and playing with nails and wood pieces. yes, I let her play with nails.

it is one of my greatest joys to see our children watching their parents and grandparents serving others in the name of Jesus. I love watching them play with children that don't look like them and don't even speak the same language. it's absolutely beautiful.

we dedicated the home to the family on friday evening and told them about Jesus and how much He loves them. it is our prayer that they see their new home as a physical reminder of His love for them... and that they come to know him better and trust him with their lives.

oh and here are the world's best grandparents...

on grief

2010-09-02T23:17:00.000-07:00

eight years later grief stings. it still makes no sense. and it can still make me feel like I can't breathe.
obviously...most of the time...life is still moving along. I don't always feel confused and hurt and sad. and that is because of the beautiful love of Jesus.
but there isn't a day that I don't think of him. and there are still a lot of times when I do feel confused and hurting and sad. and I still get very panicked if I can't remember the way his voice sounded saying my name, or his real laugh, or how his hands looked when he played the guitar. thankfully, the panic always fades when those pieces of doug come back to me. and I can hear him say "ABIGAIL!". (I could hear it as I typed that).
and I realize I won't forget.
no matter how many years there are between him leaving earth and the great reunion that is to come.

and as odd as it might sound. I am so thankful for my life. I type that through tears. because heaven knows there are parts of my life that I wish never, ever, ever happened. september 3, 2002.
the parts that I am thankful for surround that day, though. my family. my douglas. my dearest truest friends. peter, my gift. eden. charlotte. my God.
the reason I am still thankful for the life that I didn't imagine for myself is because it has God's grace and healing splattered all over it. and it continues to.
most of the time this blog will speak of the joy that fills my being. and/or cute pictures of my kids.
but sometimes it will speak of the sadness that I will carry with me for always.
and it will always end with the hope and the truth that I know.

"all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well"